NYC Strip Club Offering Free Lap Dances To Dads On Father's Day

NYDN – A Long Island City nudie bar is hosting a Father’s Day event for those who’d rather celebrate by ogling a stripper than spending quality time with their family. The first 100 dads to arrive at the Show Palace get free entry and a complementary lap dance on Sunday. “We’re trying to think of new ways to do everything,” said Mike Diaz, the manager of the jiggle joint, of the inspiration behind the first-time event. “If you’re a young father, these people are still alive. They’re not dead!” But some family advocates say the promo goes against the spirit of the holiday. “In my mind, Father’s Day is a family day,” said Lance Somerfeld, 40, co-founder of the 1,000-member NYC Dad’s Group and father of a 5-year-old. “I look forward to spending the day with my dad, my son and my wife.” Representatives from the strip club claim the joint is already a hotspot among area dads. “Half of the guys that walk through here are parents,” said general manager Mike Diaz. “They won’t admit it, but they are.” Dancers at the club claimed they’d performed for fathers — and even a few sons. “There are guys who come in with their kid if they just turned 18,” said Starlight, who did not give the Daily News her full name. “Like father, like son, you know?”

This dude Lance is right about Father’s Day. It is a family day. And thats the problem. It shouldn’t be a family day at all. It should be the complete opposite of that as a matter of fact. Father’s Day should be the one day a year that a dad can get the fuck away from his wife and kids and do whatever he wants to enjoy himself. You know why? Because the other 364 days a year he’s doing shit that makes him miserable. Working and raising the family and shit. That all sucks.

So this strip club is just offering exactly what dads out there really want but aren’t allowed to say. If you gave every dad in America the choice between going out for a brunch that he has to pay for and opening up “presents” like neck ties and power tools, and going to a strip club to get free lap dances, 100% of dads are hitting the titty joint. Father’s Day should just be a day where all the kids leave you the fuck alone and you get OTPHJs.

PS – I actually don’t know if that 100% figure is correct. Its probably like 99.9999% but if you asked my dad what he wants to do on Father’s Day his answer would be sit on the couch all day and watch The Last of the Mohicans and Apollo 13 over and over and over again with nobody interrupting.

PPS – Anybody who doesnt just print out some random pictures of kids and put them in their wallet and head over to Show Palace on Sunday is an idiot.