In case you are not familiar with the heroics of Diego, the Giant Tortoise that literally saved his species on the island of Espanola through mounting A LOT of shell, check out our previous blog here. In honor of this legend of the shell mount, we have created a shirt to commemorate his astonishing feat of procreation, as well as to do our part in helping save turtles and tortoises around the globe, and now by buying this amazing shirt, you can too. All net proceeds will go to the Turtle Conservancy https://www.turtleconservancy.org/
It Is Said That Not All Heroes Wear Capes, OR Save Entire Populations Through Sex, but Diego Does Both
When this story first broke, we knew we had something special, and we knew we would try to make a T-Shirt out of it too, initially we were greedy, hoping to cash in on all the sex Diego had, but then we channeled the kind heart and huge disgusting penis of Diego, and decided there was something far more important than paying bills and eating, and that is saving Diego’s fellow brethren, so we give you the aptly named, DIEGO TEE, and it is beautiful! It can be purchased here .
Just imagine this for a second… you are walking around wearing this fantastic shirt, feeling and looking great, and someone stops you and says “Hey, what the fuck is with that shirt?” And you can say “oh this, I got this when I donated to save turtles and tortoises, no big deal, I regularly give to charity and love animals”. You think that person might be impressed, maybe want to know a little more about you? Fuck yes they would, after all, it’s the truth!!
So many times in our busy lives we run around, thinking only of ourselves, occasionally pausing to glance at the wonders of nature and the world, but then quickly returning to our selfish alcoholic ways, never thinking “I wonder how the turtles and the tortoises of the world are doing, what can I do to help?” However, now thanks to this shirt you can rest easy knowing that turtles and tortoises are doing just a little bit better thanks to YOU!!
Just look at these beautiful, docile creatures, why would you not want to save them for future generations to enjoy?
We could all use a little good Karma, so why not get yourself a nice shirt AND some good Karma at the same time, it’s a win win!! So do your conscience a favor, do Diego a favor, and do the tortoises and turtles of the world a favor and BUY THIS SHIRT.
Our sincere thanks on behalf of Diego, and from us here at Hard Factor!!
HAVE A GREAT FUCKING DAY!!
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