A Guy In The Middle Of The UMass Riot Crying About His Girlfriend Is My Favorite Video From Last Night

I’m going through all the footage from last night right now. It’s a bear of a task, trust me. We requested footage and offered a tshirt reward so of course everyone is sending shit in, no matter how boring it is.

Anyway, this video absolutely killed me. Bro, why did you send this in? You’re upset that your girlfriend says you’re a bad boyfriend? And you choose the middle of a World Series riot to start talking to your buddy about it? Buzzkill much? Like “Yeah man I just don’t know what to do about Brittney. She says I’m a bad boyfriend… here, pass me that Molotov cocktail so I can throw it at this cop…. but yeah, 27 years we’ve been together and now she decides to say it. Is it weird I’m at a college riot when I’m old enough to be with someone for 27 years…. Whatever. Fuck the police! Throw that toilet paper in a tree!… She says I’m a bad boyfriend but I just don’t believe her.”

If you’ve had a girlfriend for 27 years then maybe the Zoo isn’t the place for you for Game 6 of the World Series. You seem to be more at the “sweatpants and a bottle of wine” stage of your life. That’s what I think, at least. Maybe if you stuck to that your girlfriend wouldn’t hate you and that college kid wouldn’t be annoyed as fuck by your sob story.