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I Am Completely On Board With This Guy Who Wants To Be A Dog

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(HuffPo)Some people are animal lovers, but Gary Matthews would love to be an animal. Specifically a dog. Matthews, 47, is an unemployed IT technician in Pittsburgh who figures if he has one life to live, let it be as a furry canine. Whenever he’s got the chance — usually when he’s home with family and friends — he puts on a shaggy dog costume and becomes his alter ego “Boomer.” Matthews loves running around on all fours, eating food out of a bowl, and chasing cars. The 6-foot pretend pooch also sleeps inside a giant doghouse he keeps in his human abode. He also has a special doggie costume made from paper, Oddity Central reported. At first, he named himself after “Pongo,” the alpa male in “101 Dalmatians.” At the age of 12, he became a fan of “Here’s Boomer,” a short-lived NBC series about a fluffy hound helpful to people he meets. “I liked Boomer’s sense of adventure, seeing new towns and meeting different people every week, and helping them with their problems,” Matthews wrote on his website dedicated bizarre lifestyle. “I even planned to go tramping when I got out of school, and live with other street dogs and go adventuring with them.

 

 

I bet every day Gary Matthews wakes up and thinks, “Am I crazy or is everybody else?” And I hope that he quickly snaps out of it and realizes that he’s sane as can be and the rest of the world is just nuts.

 

Quick, don’t think about it, do you want to be a dog or a human? Dog, correct answer! Congratulations on being smart. Of course you want to be a dog. You know what I do every day? I get up and go to work. I sit in traffic, then I sit in an office. Then I get home and worry about bills and my “future” and more work. You know what my dog does? Sits on its ass. Naps. Plays with toys. Gets petted by me then goes for a walk and takes a fat shit. That’s the life, right there. That’s the perfect life.

 

When I was a kid and did all that shit I used to promise myself that I’d never grow up. Well that was stupid and immature of me, of course I had to grow up. But I should have promised myself I’d grow up into a dog. That was the move. Fucked that one up big time, John.