Rex Ryan Gaurantees The Jets Will Beat The Pats, But Only If The Crowd Is Good

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FLORHAM PARK, N.J.Rex Ryan made a guarantee for Sunday against the New England Patriots. Issuing a challenge to New York Jets fans, Ryan said Monday they will win the game if the fans can re-create the raucous stadium atmosphere from Sept. 20, 2009. That day, the Jets hit Tom Brady so hard and so often that they beat the stuffing out of his UGG boots — that is, if he wore them in those days. “If you make it like that,” Ryan said during his weekly spot on ESPN New York 98.7 FM, “we’re gonna beat this team.”


Love this move from Rex, it’s like he’s growing up and realizing guarantees where you never hold up your end of the bargain make you look like an asshole. But a guarantee where you put the weight on someone else’s shoulders? Well that’s just fine. When he goes out there and gets his ass kicked on Sunday he can take to the post-game podium and say, “Well I didn’t guarantee a win. I guaranteed a win if people cheered first. And did you hear those guys out there? They were flat! They stunk!” and then there’s no backlash on him. It’s an incredible move, really. I think I’m going to start doing it. I’m going to start being a better worker, but only if Pres pays me more first. And I’m going to start exclusively writing A+ blogs, after the comment section starts being nice to me. If you guys don’t come through then I’m going to keep stinking and it’s your fault, not mine. I’ve laid out my terms.


PS – That screenshot kills me. March 2013: Rex regrets making guarantees. September 2013: Rex supports guarantee.