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Reader Email - Am I A Squid If I Drink Carton Milk?



Reader Email

Hey Pres,

So I bought Halloween Oreos yesterday, obviously. So I get home and offer some to my roommate (he is from the south shore, I am from the north shore) and ask if he wants a glass of milk with it. He goes, “no I only drink milk that’s delivered to my house.” Um. What the fuck? He reiiterates that he has been getting milk and orange juice delivered to his house every Saturday his entire life in glass bottles, won’t drink anything else. Like 1940’s shit. So I’m dicking on him the entire night and get cocky and survey a few more people I know from the south shore. All OF THEM get milk delivered to their house. Been second guessing myself all day now… Is this fucking normal? I need to know if I’ve been sitting here like a squid my entire life openly drinking milk and oj from plastic bottles.


P.S. If the chappelle show skit where he is the milkman isn’t included in this you’re not the person I thought you were.


First things first. I don’t believe for a second that you hang around with a group of guys who all exclusively get their milk home delivered. No fucking way. Those other bro’s were just lying to make themselves feel better about themselves. But that doesn’t change the fact I respect the hell out of anybody who gets their milk home delivered. Because I’m all about the snob life. Nothing I love doing more than thumbing my nose at society and acting like I’m better than people. No doubt getting your milk home delivered is certainly one way to do that. In fact now I’m in my own head that I drink carton milk like a simpleton. Such a ghetto mogul move.  I bet people on the Vineyard drink carton milk. Step it up Pageviews! Step it up!