A Guy Proposed To His Girlfriend By Having A Goddamn Illustrator Animate Them Into Sleeping Beauty In A Theater Full Of Their Family And Friends
I was going to tag this as a Feel Good Friday blog because that is pretty much the most incredible and romantic thing I have ever seen in my life. But you know what? I'm not feeling all that good right now. If anything I feel like a gigantic piece of shit. You see, I thought I nailed my proposal by bringing my girlfriend to the main table at Cinderella's Castle, who was her favorite Disney princess growing up, dropping to a knee, and giving her a glass slipper on a rose bed with the engagement ring inside.
But you know what Lee did? He took my glass slipper, turned that sumbitch sideways, and shoved it straight up my candy ass! I mean paying someone to work 6 months on turning you and your girl into cartoon characters is mind-blowingly creative and impressive on its own. That girl being your high school sweetheart makes it extra sweet/sappy. But to secretly fill the entire theater with your family/friends, coming correct to your cardiac doctor girlfriend with some heart jokes, having the fairies lose their minds when she said "Yes", and getting the marquee to congratulate you is next level shit.
Oh yeah, and having the awareness to add a scene in case she said "No" was some A+ self deprecating humor. Every guy that proposes should feel like there is at least a 90% chance they are going to get a Yes when they take that long journey down to one knee. But Lee better have thought there was a 200% chance of a Yes or at the very least forced her into saying Yes because she would look like every evil stepmother in Disney history by turning down a guy who did all that.
However, if anybody else who is married feels like a shlep like I do right now, you can turn your frown upside down knowing that we already got our rings on the fingers and consummated the damn thing while Lee has set the bar for his marriage preposterously high. I live by the phrase "Underpromise, overdeliver", with the overdeliver being very optional. But our pal Lee has basically set the bar as a husband somewhere around the moon, if not higher. Everything he does is going to be measured by his wife and his in-laws against the baseline of maybe the greatest proposal ever. Meanwhile, the rest of us can just coast through life and look like heroes by occasionally offering to not be lazy pieces of shit by doing the bare minimum in the house or the bedroom. So there's that, I guess!
Despite the immense jealousy flowing through my system, I have to congratulate the happy couple on their engagement. If anybody deserved to marry a beautiful doctor sugarmama, it's Lee. So congrats Lee, you goddamn hardo hopeless romantic!
Also since it's Feel Good Friday and relevant to this blog, I had to include my favorite proposal ever that still makes my dumb ass grin from ear to ear because it was pulled off brilliantly and features the voice of the songbird of our generation.