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It Would Be Pretty Stupid To Not Buy A 3-Pack Of Ted Williams Condoms From The 50's For $100, Right?

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(eBay)THIS SALE IS FOR A NEAR MINT PACKAGE OF CHAMP PROPHYLACTICS ALSO KNOWN BY SPORTS MEMORABILIA COLLECTORS AS ” TED WILLIAMS CONDOMS ” THAT WERE MADE BY THE NATIONAL HYGENIC PRODUCTS CORPORATION IN THE EARLY 1950’S. THIS VERY RARE AND UNUSUAL SPORTS COLLECTIBLE IS A FACTORY SEALED PACKAGE CONTAINING 3 CHAMP CONDOMS AND FEATURING AN UNAUTHORIZED IMAGE OF THE GREAT TED WILLIAMS ON THE PACKAGE THAT WAS ACTUALLY STOLEN FROM HIS 1954 TOPPS # 250 BASEBALL CARD.

 

 

All kidding aside, I think these would be a total hit with chicks. Because what’s lesson number 1 when it comes to chicks? They’re materialistic. They care about the finer things in life and want brand name recognition. They want the Louis Vuitton bag, not the Burlington Coat Factory one. Well most condoms are all the same. Nothing sticks out about them and there’s no pizazz. It typically doesn’t matter if you use a free rubber from Planned Parenthood or a Trojan Hot Ice Studded Her Pleasure Mint Flavored condom, at the end of the day it’s a balloon you’re putting on your dick.

 

But if you whip one of these out at the bar and wave it in her face? Show her a $100 pack of condoms with Teddy Ballgame’s likeness staring her down? That’s a total game changer. That’s class and familiarity with a logo. That’s the difference between picking her up in a Mercedes or a Hyundai. Once she sees a Champ Prophylactic the third base coach will be waving you home.