This dropped this morning. I saw it immediately because, as a man of taste, I’ve been a GQ fan since I was young. I don’t mean to brag but let’s just say almost all of the wisdom and knowledge I have was learned on planes reading the Ask A Bartender segment in lieu of actual books.
Anyway, I know this isn’t a shock, that Larry David is Larry David. No one saw that headline and thought “WHOA! A revelation!,” everyone is aware that George was Larry and now Larry is Larry, but reading it is fucking laugh out funny because you can see the Curb scenes playing out in your mind. I can’t recommend the full article highly enough but here are some highlights:
Larry David drew a pirate ship covered in swastikas for an elementary school class project:
I love when old people talk about how tough they had it and how strict teachers were when they were young. Ask a gray hair and they’ll run out of breath telling you that teachers used to literally torture them for so much as asking to go to the bathroom, but swastikas in 1953? That was totally acceptable. Imagine an elementary school student today drawing an ISIS flag? The teacher would have a heart attack, there would be town hall meetings, it would be national news, and the student would be cancelled before they learned long division.
But the fact that LD still proudly has it hanging in his house? Amazing.
Larry vs The Outdoors
There were a few parts of this that really resonated with me but Larry’s distaste for Vitamin D especially hit home. The author might as well have asked him what his favorite brands of rat poison to put in his cereal are as he listed things that most people truly love, but Larry couldn’t have been more correct in his answers.
Swimming? The only way to make exercising worse is by adding getting wet to it. My views on bike riding are well documented. Hiking? Hiking I’ll actually defend a bit. Not the act itself, exercising in boots is almost as bad as exercising wet, but I understand the appeal of the breathtaking views. A hike will take 7 hours and be awesome for 5 minutes, but at least it has those 5 minutes. The beach is just an exercise in waiting in traffic for hours to get sandy. I made a decision a few years ago that I only go to the beach if I can walk to the beach from my house. No regrets.
Larry vs fashion
I don’t think Larry David is often thought of as a fashion icon but this is a quote from a fashion icon. This is exactly how everyone should dress. I think Larry and I have differing opinions when it comes to deciding what’s “nice” but the theory itself is spot on. If you’re fully decked out you’re an asshole, if you’re full bum you’re an asshole slob. Half is more.
Larry vs a Barista
This might be the best interaction from the whole piece. Larry getting into a disagreement with a barista over how to serve coffee and it’s perfect. If this isn’t a curb scene in the future I’ll be shocked.
LD might be the most iconic character ever because he always plays the same one, on screen and off. You’re not reading the conversation, you’re hearing it. You’re seeing it. The tone of voice, the mannerisms, it’s all perfectly painted in your head.
Larry doesn’t even understand what people are talking about when they say it’s cingey. If someone had told him that when it started we might not even have Curb because Larry wouldn’t put it out if he thought it was cringey. It’s just life to him.
I used to find it, to use a word I haven’t in a whole sentence, cringey years ago but I actually don’t anymore. I used to need a walk after two episodes to clear my palette but those days are gone. I don’t know if that’s a product of aging, brainwashing, or knowing Jewish people now but that’s the way it is.
Again, read the whole article. There are many more anecdotes and stories about the early Curb days and how Curb will end (without ceremony). It’s awesome and we’re all lucky to be on the planet at the same time as Larry David.