The Miami Heat Are Giving Dwyane Wade A THREE NIGHT Jersey Retirement Ceremony

People are going to be upset about this grandiloquent gesture by the Miami Heat, but they’re missing the point. You see, Kobe Bryant only got one night. Wade is now getting three times as many nights as Kobe Bean Bryant. This is undoubtedly a good and not bad thing no matter which way you want to slice it.

In all seriousness, if you’re not a Miami Heat fan, and this is something that upsets you… I mean, we appear to be on the brink of World War 3. Maybe you should reevaluate what upsets you in this world. Think of the koalas man. I can’t picture a single Miami Heat fan who thinks this is over the top in any way. If anything they probably think it isn’t enough. Remember, this is the same fanbase that renamed Dade County to Wade County. They allowed this man to give himself undoubtedly the worst self-appointed nickname in professional sports history. The vast majority of them are probably Miami Heat fans because of Dwyane Wade’s existence.

Plus, in my opinion, people aren’t look at this with a wide enough scope yet. Wade is getting three nights because he wore the number three. That opens the lid for the eventual 99 night retirement ceremony for when 15-time World Champion Tacko Fall hangs his own jersey up in the rafters flat-footed. Maybe then you’ll be able to look back and thank the Miami Heat for bucking tradition and setting this trend for the rest of us to enjoy.