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Belichick Just Destroying the Media for Asking Him Stupid Questions

Belichick moods

Boston MagAs we all know, when Bill Belichick does not like the questions he’s being asked by reporters, he does not hide it. And thus did the Patriots coach spent much of his Monday gritting his teeth and doing his best to be of no use to anyone. His exchange with NFL.com’s Albert Breer regarding the status of Rob Gronkowski and Danny Amendola at a Monday press conference has received widespread attention as a towering example of Belichick at his most Belichicky:

AB: How close was Rob Gronkowski to playing yesterday?

BB: I don’t know. He was inactive.

AB: Did he have a shot to play?

BB: He was inactive.

AB: Going into the day, was there a chance he’d play or did you guys know…?

BB: He was inactive for the game.

AB: What about Danny Amendola?

BB: He was inactive too.

AB: I know they were inactive, so did either of …

BB: They were inactive so they didn’t play.

AB: I think you have an idea how close they were.

BB: Well, they weren’t able to play. What do you want, percentage points?

AB: Well I mean—

BB: They couldn’t play.

AB: Going into the day, did you know they couldn’t play?

BB: They were inactive.

AB: That doesn’t answer my question.

BB: They were inactive, it’s as simple as that.

Later on, old Stonewall Belichick turned up to WEEI for his weekly appearance, where he engaged with the Salk and Holley Show hosts:

Q: I get the sense that if you name a team that’s like the worst team in the NFL, no matter what the circumstances are, I get the sense that you would find a way to say something good about that team, or to think what that team does well. Is it simply you’re preparing for that team’s best even if that team hasn’t shown it?

 BB: Well of course you always prepare for your opponents’ best. What else would you prepare for? They’re going to come in here and turn over a ball eight times? I mean, you don’t prepare for that. You prepare for a team to come in here and play their best football against you, and how are you going to play your best football against them?… It would be irresponsible to coach a team and tell them, “OK fellas, the team that’s coming in here is not going to play well. So we should expect them to play a bad game, so why don’t we play one that’s just a little better than their bad game?” I think I’d be totally irresponsible. I can’t imagine any coach ever doing that. I mean I couldn’t imagine that. So I wouldn’t know how to prepare a team the way you’re talking about. I couldn’t even fathom that… To me it’s just the most irresponsible thing I’ve ever heard of. I can’t even fathom it.

Let me ask a semi-serious question: Is Belichick getting bored with all this?  I don’t mean bored with running the model NFL franchise.  He’s the son of a football coach who was born to coach football and I’m convinced he’ll be a football coach until the day he abandons his corporeal body and evolves into a form of pure energy.  What I’m asking is, is he getting bored with reporters asking him stupid, pointless questions?  I used to think he enjoyed their little give and take.  Bandying words with these clowns.  Thwarting the toner-stained wretches at every turn.  Diffusing controversies.  Taking major distractions that would tear a lesser team apart and stopping them dead in their tracks.  But I kind of feel like now he’s General Zod in Superman II, asking himself “Is there no one on this planet to even challenge me?”

I mean, look at that exchange with Albert Breer.  Breer’s bullets just bouncing off his chest until he empties the clip and throws the gun.  Seriously, what WAS his looking for?  Percentages?  Adjectives?  Like “Gronk was semi-available?”  “Amendola was practically ready?”  How many times do you have to hear “They were inactive” before you realize you’ve been beaten by the best ever in the obfuscation game?  And I love Michael Holley as much as the next Pats fan, but that is in the running for the single dumbest question I’ve ever heard asked of a football coach.  If I didn’t know better I’d swear it was asked by some 20-something douches in a Coors Light ad.  Dennis and Callahan were killing Belichick for being a dick about it, but when you really consider that Holley was asking him… who’s been coaching for almost 4 decades… if he ever tries to not prepare his team too much against garbage opponents, I think if anything he showed remarkable restraint.  Answering it the way he did should get him the Pro Football Writer’s Association’s “Good Guy Award,” if not the Nobel Peace Prize.  The bottom line is I don’t mind these guys trying to trip The Hooded One up and start some controversy.  I get that’s how they play the game.  I just wish there was one guy among them capable of matching wits with the man.  Because I’m afraid it’s just too easy.  @JerryThornton1