Live EventBarstool Sports Picks Central | Tuesday, November 28, 2023Watch Now
Surviving Barstool | Ep. 2 Premieres TONIGHT at 8PM ETWATCH EP. 1 NOW

Good News: The Best Hangover Cure In The Country Was Finally Revealed; Bad News: Let Me Introduce You To Cincinnati Chili

A bit of good news, bad news situation here. Good news is on New Year's Eve, I'm writing a blog talking about the best hangover cure in the country. That's important with bowl games and college hoops on all day before you start New Year's Eve whether you're going out, to a friend's house, whatever. Here's the description of what makes this the best hangover cure in the country: 

"This heaping helping of spaghetti topped with a brown chili sauce and shredded cheddar is not the most photogenic meal. In fact, Deadpan once called it ‘the worst regional foodstuff in America.’ But to Cincinnati locals who have had too much to drink, this dish is a welcoming sight.

“Inspired by Greek immigrants who brought with them their tradition of spicy stewed meats, this local dish combines carbs, protein and grease to create the perfect antidote to hangovers.”

Now for the bad news? It's Cincinnati chili. Actually, let me be more specific here. This is chili on top of spaghetti, there's a massive difference here. Cincinnati chili on a hot dog? Phenomenal - they are the best. Putting it on a plate of pasta? Fucking disgusting.

Here's the thing - I don't doubt that this is the best hangover cure in the country. You know why? 

Talking about poop, because that's what Cincinnati chili does to you. It just empties your stomach out, which is an A+ way to get rid of your hangover.

Now you might even be thinking - what is this? It doesn't look like chili. Well, Cincinnati chili isn't what Joe from accounting claims he makes every Sunday and brings in for lunch on Monday. Cincinnati chili is a much thinner chili, almost like a liquid or a dip.

You better believe that I'll be testing this theory out tomorrow morning. I feel like it needs to be a test period to figure out what exact time would be the best to eat Cincinnati chili. I'm thinking right around 11am, get a little early lunch in you, clear out the system and enjoy some beers at lunch with more football. 

Happy New Year's, everyone.