"The Browns 2019" Gets A Big 0% On Rotten Tomatoes

The game is still going on as I write this, so keep reading for the moment where I find out the embarrassing way they end their season. (It is currently 30-23 Bengald with 7:09 remaining)

After the Browns traded for Odell Beckham Jr., I made this movie trailer based on the 'Avengers: Endgame' for the 2019-2020 season...

This was one of the coolest videos I have ever made. It has 2.4 million views and the 'Avengers: Endgame' directors, the Russo Brothers, even gave some love to the video. I also learned some cool video editing techniques that I brought into our "reaction" video series for 'Watchmen' and 'The Mandalorian'.

The problem? This may shock you, but the team fucking sucked. All expectations and hype were crushed quickly. If this Browns movie had been made, it would've reached 'Gotti' levels. A big, fat, 0%.

Freddie Kitchens looked lost from the get-go and never called plays like he did last year. Baker Mayfield was awful to start the season. The team was on pace at one point to set NFL records in penalty yardage. Odell Beckham Jr. missed the preseason and always seemed a step behind in terms of chemistry. The defense was banged up all year. This happened…

As a comedy, you could argue this Browns movie would have earned a solid 100%. But as a fan, it was nothing short of a giant shit stain on the already brown underwear that is this Cleveland football franchise.

(The Bengals just kicked a field goal to go up 10-points with 2:00 minutes to go… hilarious)

I didn't think this is how the season would go, folks. For me, this team was going to win anywhere from 9 to 11 games. My official prediction for the season was 10-6. Even after a rough start, they seemed poised, up two scores on Seattle at home, to turn things around. It was all for nothing and everything went straight into the shitter.

Will Freddie Kitchens return? Who knows, but it seems silly to bring him back. He really was in over his head all season. This team has way too much talent to be finishing seasons 6-10. Baker regressed a little this year, but I trust him to regain the form we expected next season… but they also need to protect him. The defense will be better when Myles Garrett isn't suspended… but they need someone other than Steve Wilks running the show.

POSITIVE SPIN IF THEY LOSE:

Many questions. Very few answers. All I know is this: the 2019-2020 Cleveland Browns were hilariously pathetic.

(The game is over as I type this)

Goodbye season, we will not miss you.