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Study Says "Guys Who Tweet Are More Likely To Cheat"

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YahooToday in unfortunately rhyming news: The more you tweet, the more you cheat: According to a journalism doctoral student’s research of 581 Twitter users of various ages, those who are active Twitter users are more likely to experience Twitter-related conflict. Well, duh, that’s seems obvious–but the Twitter related convict can lead to divorce, breakups, and cheating. Basically, this means that too much tweeting can cause fights that aren’t necessarily relationship-related, but arise from one partner being distracted from the relationship and then lead to infidelity or breakups.

Just heard this one this morning on Benigno’s Cup of Morning Joe on Boomer and Carton. HOW BOUT THAT! What a fucking phony headline this is. This is completely backwards. If you tweet too much, your significant other is more likely to cheat. Because chances are they are going to grow to hate you because you’re the asshole with your face buried in Twitter 24/7. Trust me – I know from experience. If the Roommate doesn’t cheat on me soon I’m going to start to question her intelligence and pride. Thats how much I fucking suck when it comes to being that dick with his face buried in his phone. I absolutely despise the person I’ve become in that department. Actually most departments, but definitely that one. Out to dinner and I’m worried about a bunch of strangers on my phone. Something happens in a game and instead of just talking about it with the real humans in front of me I have to make some stupid quip on twitter. I’d absolutely hate dating me.

But I’m not a cheater. Loyalty above all else in my book. So I take offense to this headline. Change the headline to “Guys who tweet are likely to get cheated on” and I’ll endorse it 100%. I’m just waiting for it to happen at this point. And when it does I’ll tweet about it.

PS – Mostly I blame you assholes. Every time I disappear for like 4 hours I get tweets like “Where the fuck is KFC!” “Pres and Feitelberg are tweeting, how come you’re not!” blah blah blah. Leave me alone I’m trying to break my addiction.