NY Post - A Brooklyn movie house in health-food-centric Park Slope called the cops on a diabetic customer — just because he was munching strawberries that were sold outside the cinema. “It was embarrassing. I didn’t expect it. Two police officers came and told me to leave with a full theater of people watching. I said ‘Is this for real?’ and they said, ‘Yes, you have to leave,’?” said Michael Kass, a 41-year-old financial analyst. Kass, who has Type 2 diabetes, couldn’t eat the junk food for sale at the Park Slope Pavilion, so he brought a carton of prewashed strawberries to keep his insulin level in check during a showing of “Divergent” on Sunday, he said. But before he could watch the action flick, a worker cut him off near the theater entrance and checked his bag — demanding he toss the forbidden fruit and explaining no outside food is allowed, Kass claims. The strawberry-stashing father of three tried to explain his disease, but “they didn’t seem to care,” he said, so he asked a manager to refund his $12 ticket. When the manager refused, he stuffed his snack back in the bag and took a seat in the theater, he said. Midway through a preview, 10 minutes later, the manager and two cops escorted him out of the building, citing his berry bad snack. “I was irate. In a place like Park Slope, it’s culturally insensitive .?.?. I’m speaking out because I love movies, and I felt for a long time that more theaters should offer healthy snacks,” Kass said, noting many shops and restaurants in the neighborhood are sensitive to health, allergy and dietary needs.
First of all bro, you have Type 2 Diabetes. A.K.A. Fatabetes. Nobody feels bad for you. When I inevitably am diagnosed with that shit, I won’t expect any preferential treatment and neither should this guy.
Secondly, have you never snuck anything into the movies before? I’ve brought candy, I’ve brought sandwiches, I’ve brought beer. I’ve practically had Thanksgiving Dinner in a movie theater before. You put shit in your pockets or under your jacket or up your sleeves. So why couldn’t you do the same with your fucking strawberries? Hiding in the bag is a rookie move. At least make your kids smuggle that shit in like some sort of fruit mules. Nobody searches kids.
And thirdly, dude…you were smuggling fucking strawberries into a movie theater. You’re lucky that usher didn’t just beat you up on the spot. I don’t care if you have diabeetus or not. Only an asshole smuggles fresh fruit into a movie theater. Thats lame even by Brooklyn standards. Either man up and eat some popcorn or just wait a couple hours like an adult and eat your strawberries afterwards. I’m envisioning a scene out of the movie Old School. Remember in the very beginning of the movie when Mitch Martin is like “My seat belt appears to be broken. What do you recommend I do?” Thats Michael Kass right here. “I’m type 2 Diabetic and I’m here to see the movie Divergent and can only eat strawberries, not movie snacks. What do you recommend I do?”