March 27 (UPI) — A Romanian man went to the hospital complaining of pain in his esophagus after he swallowed a fork on a drunken bet. Radu Kalincesku, 25, didn’t tell doctors why he was experiencing the pain but when doctors did an X-ray, they found the utensil lodged in his esophagus. Kalincesku explained that he was drunk when he bet his friends that he could swallow a fork without any consequences. The doctors decided not to operate and instead sent the man home with hopes that the fork would be expelled from his body through natural processes. Doctors say they will operate if the fork becomes lodged in the man’s digestive tract.
You know whats incredible about this story? That Radu isn’t the dumbest asshole in this story. You gotta be insanely stupid to bet your friends that you can eat a fork. I mean really take a step back and let that sink in. Think about all the dumb drunken bets you’ve made and think about just how much more stupid it is to wager that you can eat a piece of silverware. Also, stepping into the X-ray machine still trying to keep up this lie that you “dont know why you’re experiencing pain” when you fucking know they are gonna find a goddam fork in there is some Costanza shit. Thats like getting in the car and driving to the Hamptons when you know you don’t own a house out there.
Yet despite all that, I don’t even think he’s the biggest idiot in the story. I think the doctors telling this guy to just go home and shit this fork out my be the biggest assholes of all. Hey doctor have you ever seen a human asshole? You know approximately how big they are and how they work? You ever see a fork? You’re not thinking there’s gonna be a problem here? Its a long, flat, metal utensil with spikes trying to pass through twists and turns of your colon and out your tiny ass b-hole. Its like trying to put a square peg in a round hole but times a billion. I’m not sure what they teach in Doctor School these days but if thats the plan of action for a fork in your body then they need to revise the textbooks.