This Year's Christmas Non-troversy: Should Santa Be Gender Neutral?
Source - [P]eople are wondering whether Santa needs an update for modern times, as one company has offered the possibility of Father Christmas becoming a gender neutral person.
GraphicSprings, a logo creation company, polled 400 people from the US and UK about potential ways to modernise Santa, using the top suggestions to poll a further 4,000 people on how they envision him.
In total over one quarter (27 per cent) of respondents reckon he should be rebranded as female or gender neutral, according to 6 ABC .
Over on social media the results of the survey have had mixed reactions, with some claiming the idea is "ridiculous", while others don't understand the point in arguing over a made up character. ...
Arun Chandran, an Independent councillor for Newton Aycliffe in County Durham, moved to ban female Santa Claus impersonators from taking part in an annual winter parade last month, after two women volunteered for the job. ...
Ponsonby Central, a shopping complex in Auckland, New Zealand, unveiled a Santa Claus modelled on Mary Poppins, complete wearing knickers and fishnet stockings last month.
Oh, I get it, GraphicSprings. I go you, 27% of 4,000 survey respondents. I'm onto your little game. This is the part where the "OK, Boomer" part where white hetero followers of the Baby Jesus like me are supposed to fly off the handle in a purple-faced rage. We're we're expected to rant and rave about people using "Xmas" and not allowing religious songs in schools and store clerks being trained to say "Happy Holidays" because "Merry Christmas" is hate speech now and Christmakwanzakah and Satan worshipers getting a holiday display in the park next to the manger scene. Then everybody has a good laugh at the old traditionalist bastards making idiots out of themselves getting all worked up over nothing.
Sorry, I'm not playing. Worrying about what binary gender, color, sexual orientation or nationality Santa is went out with Michael Scott in 2009.
As a matter of fact, I'm stunned it took this long. Well meaning but naive Christians have been getting their stockings in a bunch about how Santa gets portrayed forever. I can't believe it took until 2019 for people to start poking them with the stick of his gender identity. It's just such a natural I would've figured we'd be a good five years into it by now instead of just getting started.
For me personally, I'm all for it. Listen, the first portrayal of Santa I was exposed to was the one from "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," the TV special. I grew up on him. And to this day, he's the biggest asshole I've ever seen in a work of fiction. His whole story arc is "This elf music sucks. Get back to the sweat shop I own. I hate my job. Your kid is a freak, get him out of here. One of my reindeer is missing because he's looking for his lost child? What about the work I have to do? Hey deformed kid, you can be useful to me. Go risk your life in dangerous conditions for my benefit." The end. You can't do anything to him worse than that beloved classic did throughout my childhood.
So have at it. Go nuts. Make him as 2020 as you want. Gender fluid. Trans. Gay. Lesbian. Bi. Polyamorous. White, black, Jewish, Muslim, Jehovah's Witness (though he won't be able to observe the holiday). Mormon. Atheist. Put him in an Antifa mask or a MAGA hat. Have him swear off eggnog and cookies because he's lactose intolerant and gluten free. Let him eat his reindeer as a part of his Paleo diet and to eliminate the carbon footprint of their farts. Have him spend all day on his phone and live Tweet himself shouting down a pro-Brexit economist speaking at a college. Then running to the campus safe space because someone called him by the wrong pronoun. Make up whatever you want to make up about the made up figure someone made up to entertain kids and sell stuff.
Whatever you do, just know that my Santa will always be the one who does it with Lauren Graham in a parking lot when she was at the absolute height of her powers.
Try to touch THAT Father Christmas and we'll have a problem.