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Science Determines What Women Want On The Dance Floor


Word on the street is you’re the type of guy whose dance moves leave chicks needing a lifeboat to evacuate the dance floor so they don’t drown in their own pleasure. I need an expert to tell me if this really is science.

Don’t want your take on this. Need it.


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Good Dancing:

Bad dancing:

Washington Post – A group of evolutionary biologists looked at the science of bump and grind, and saythey have figured out exactly which dance movements catch a woman’s eye. Researchers at Northumbria University and the University of Gottingen wanted to know what women look for in a dancing partner, since “dancing ability, particularly that of men, may serve as a signal of mate quality.” They found that women rated dancers higher when they showed larger and more variable movements of the head, neck and torso. Speed of leg movements mattered too, particularly bending and twisting of the right knee. Going beyond the dance floor, these findings could demonstrate that mens’ dance moves could carry “honest signals of traits such as health, ?tness, genetic quality and developmental history,” although the authors stress that more research is needed to be sure. 

I don’t know who’s worse – science or chicks. Can’t even imagine how bad a chick scientist is. Worst of both worlds. Science with their ridiculous studies and women with their ridiculous expectations. Recipe for disaster for us normal dudes.

Now as Jdiddy said, I’ve been known to flood the dance floor. Like watch out for when KFC is dancing because the Hoover Dam is about to open when chicks start leaking all over the place. Everyone grab the animals 2 by 2 and board Noah’s Ark because KFC is dancing to Return of the Mack. So as such I think its only appropriate to break down this study for everyone.

There’s a huge difference between what chicks find appealing and what we, as normal dudes, should be doing. Of course chicks want dudes who dance like fucking Justin Timberlake. Of course they find hips and legs and neck movements and shit like we’re Usher. I bet they also love dudes who are ripped enough to do the Dirty Dancing move, right? But guess what happens when you’re a normal ass dude and you try to do the Dirty Dancing move? You drop a chick on her face and she loses all of her teeth and probably ends up paralyzed. And thats the main point here. You gotta stay within your realm. Within your comfort zone. That second video of “bad dancing” is what every normal man in America should stick to. Because the only thing worse than that is a dude trying to look like the “Good Dancing” video who doesn’t know what the fuck they’re doing.

Trust me – a chick would much rather you keep your feet cemented to the floor while bouncing your shoulders and snapping your fingers like a normal white goof ball than have you pretend you’re Michael Jackson in Billie Jean. I’d rather be good at bad dancing than bad at good dancing. You feel me? Words to live by right there. Alright so here’s your visuals for today’s lesson, let the good times roll!