The Dirty Turban – Houston Astros first base prospect and chimichanga connoisseur Japhet Amador is a mountain of man and could become MLB’s biggest player ever. At 6’4?, 315 pounds, the former Mexican slugger is looking to make the Astros big league club. In seven years south of the border, Amador hit .320 with 112 home runs. Last season, he belted 36 homers, drove in 121 RBI and hit just above his weight at a robust .368. If Amador – whose nickname is “el Gigante de Mulegé” (which if my high school Spanish is correct means “Fat Bastard”) – makes the club he would tie the MLB record as the heaviest player of all time. Former Oriole Walter Young weighed in at 315 pounds. While Amador is expected to start the season in AAA Oklahoma City the biggest question is which will be higher this year, el Gigante’s weight or the Astros winning percentage?
Congratulations, Japhet! You are the fattest boy in camp! Nothing funnier than a fat guy playing baseball. Thats always good for a laugh. A few hundred pounds shoved into a ridiculous uniform just lumbering around the diamond. I remember in Little League there was this huge fucker Geoff Becker. He had to be like 300 pounds in the 4th grade. He would just bash moonshots into the woods at Clark Field and he could throw like 200 MPH. Just dominated the league. I think he was left back like 5 or 6 times too so he was just like 5 years older than us but either way he had to be the fattest guy to ever pick up a bat and glove.
Until now that is. El Gigante de Mulege checking in at a svelte 315 pounds. I hope to Christ he makes the Big League team. Would love to see this fat bag of Mexican just sit there at first base making Prince Fielder look like a toothpick. Who the fuck do the Astros have to put at first anyway? Just call up El Gigante de Houston and sell tickets like a motherfucker.