Post – When David daCruz met his now-fiancée, Marrissa, the busy financial analyst at first found it difficult to make time to meet up with her. But once the Upper East Sider learned his love interest was a fitness freak, he had the perfect solution. “I asked her to go to a [fitness] class, Exceed Physical Culture, with me for our third date,” recalls daCruz, 31. “Since we were both going to work out anyway, going together was a great way to fit it all in and make sure we saw each other sooner. She was surprised — but in a good way!” New Yorkers have always been experts at multitasking, but so-called exerdating — i.e., working out on a date — is the latest wacky trend which takes that skill to a whole new level. Like daCruz, many of those who swear by it say its main appeal is efficiency. Noah, a Union Square resident who has taken five different girls to SoulCycle with him in the past six months, thinks that it’s not only possible but a great way to discover a woman’s true personality. “I can tell if I’m going to like a girl based on how she acts at Soul [Cycle],” confesses the 28-year-old financial analyst, who declined to give his last name. “If she’s into it and having fun, that’s great — it means she enjoys being active, just like I do. But if she’s passive and lazy during class, or I can tell she cares too much about how she looks, it’s a big turn-off and I don’t really want to see her again.” Luckily for him, not a single girl has turned him down so far — or even balked at the idea of an exerdate.
Dating and exercising at the same time. I literally cannot think of anything worse. Maybe like “sticking needles in your eye” while “having bamboo shoots jammed underneath your fingernails.” Thats just about the only pair of activities that beats out “exerdating.”
Now don’t get me wrong, I used to love the thrill of the chase when I was single. Hitting on chicks at the bar and stringing them on text and trying to seal the deal was a great time. Love the challenge, love the game. But sitting there on a date with a chick you know you have zero interest in, listening to her babble while you pay for dinner just for the outside chance she may let you penetrate her, is just awful. The awkward small talk, the fake laughs. That painful moment when you realize A) she’s not gonna sleep with you and the rest of the date is pointless, or B) you realize she doesn’t like you and she’s just trying to be polite and make it through the rest of dinner and its atrociously awkward.
And the only thing more painful that that is being the out of shape, piece of shit slob at the gym. Can’t figure out how to even use half the machines. Chicks lifting more weights than you. When you’re done lifting you set the machine on a higher weight so that the next person doesn’t see you were pressing like 30 pounds total. You hop on the treadmill aiming to run like 20 minutes and after 32 seconds you’re gassed. Not to mention your arms got caught up in your headphones wire while running and you knocked your iPod off the treadmill and almost bit it in front of the whole gym.
Now imagine combining all that awkwardness of dating and exercising. All the embarrassment, all the struggle. In both cases you have to fucking suck at it for like 6 straight months until you see any success. You can work out for months on end before you ever see results. Go on a thousand dates before you ever hook up with the chick you want. Now combine those two activities together and its like a black hole of being fat and not getting laid. Never gonna succeed in either.