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Bang Anything (NSFW)

I wonder what this generation knows John Cusack for?... And that's assuming that they even know him at all.

For old people, I think he is probably best remembered for his portrayal of Lloyd Dobler in 1989's Say Anything.

For really old people (like me) he's best known for a bit part in Sixteen Candles and lead roles in both Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer (with a barely legal Demi Moore).

This latest generation might know him from the Hot Tub Time Machine franchise, or maybe recognize him from when ConAir runs on TBS once a day.  But for some, his name won't ring an immediate bell.

Until now.

I am not sure why, but an old buddy sent me a list of women John Cusack dated and I was so floored, I rushed to this computer to share it with you all (y'all).

I have written about Celebrity Knock Lists in the past, but those names I profiled (Leonardo DiCaprio, Cameron Diaz, etc.) all made more sense from an attractiveness standpoint.

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Then along comes plain old John Cusack, who then casually puts up numbers that you would think would be reserved to the Brad Pitts or Adam Levines of this world.

(I know nothing about Maroon 5's Adam Levine, but I saw him on a Proactiv commercial once, so I assume he is hot stuff.)

I will dive right into it, and try to keep it as classy as possible... 

HERE IS A LIST OF ALL THE BROADS JOHN CUSACK HAS BANGED (allegedly):

Brooke Burns 2010-2011


Rebecca Romijn 2004 (VERY NSFW)


Jennifer Love Hewitt 2003


Jodi Lyn O'Keefe 2003-2009


Venezuelan actress/singer/sit-up executor Gabriela Spanic 2003


Meg Ryan 2003


He dated Neve Campbell from 1998 to 2002… Which was around the same time Neve shot this pool scene for Wild Things with Denise Richards.

I'd love to post this whole scene, but it gets to "deep in the weeds", so to speak, and I may have pushed the envelope with the Romijn clip.


Alison Eastwood 1997 (Clint Eastwood's daughter)


Minnie Driver (which is also my wife's pet name for my dolphin-shaped penis) 1997


Gina Gershon 1992


Melissa Gilbert In 1983… 

Okay.  Normally, I wouldn't put the little girl from Little House on The Prairie on this list, but a full-grown Gilbert reportedly slept with Cusack only to get back at her smoking-hot boyfriend, Rob Lowe, for cheating on her with the equally smoking-hot Nastassja Kinski.

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Claire Forlani (who also dated Brad Pitt)


Uma Thurman off and on for years


Janice Dickinson (before all the surgery)… Self-proclaimed "First Supermodel" and eventual Bill Cosby victim.  


That last one, Janice Dickinson Janice claims to have had sex with Cusack on a plane…

… and also said John had a HUGE dick… Which explains A LOT of the scattered ass on this list.

Cusack, now 53, has never been married and continues to be on the prowl.  

He's made it a priority to keep his romances private since his breakup with Burns in 2011, but even from the incomplete list I have posted above, it is relatively easy to appreciate John Cusack as one of the greatest Hollywood cocksmen of all time.

Bravo, Johnny, and continue taking sexy reports.

-Large  


Second week in a row with a Wall Street story on ExtraLarge… This week, I highlight one of the ways I used to rob money from people just like you.  Catch it on BarstoolGOLD