Severed Goat Head Found In Park Slope

PARK SLOPE — A severed goat head was discovered in Prospect Park on Monday, park officials confirmed. The animal body part was found Monday when David Rabig was strolling in a wooded area about 9 a.m. with his girlfriend’s Boston Terrier, Leo. The dog chased a squirrel up a tree near the Lincoln Road entrance and then sniffed out the head, which was laying under a dusting of snow with the number “93” printed on a tag in its ear. “At first I thought it was a frozen squirrel or kitten, then I saw the tag and horns and realized what it was,” Rabig said via email. “I would describe my reaction as unsettled.” He added that there were no footprints around the head, which was first reported byGothamist, so he assumed it was placed there sometime before the snowfall Sunday night. Rabig alerted a park worker about his discovery later in the day, he said. He said the worker “acted genuinely scared and told me not to disturb the head.” Another goat head was found in the park about four years ago, the Prospect Park Alliance confirmed. “This is not a regular occurrence,” Prospect Park Alliancespokesman Eric Landau said. Prospect Park frequenter and wildlife enthusiast Mary Beth Artz said the goat found four years ago was “possibly used for Santeria or other religious rituals.”

Somebody get Rust and Marty on the line! There’s some weird shit going down in Brooklyn!

I honestly feel like I could investigate this after watching True Detective. Like Costanza when he’s trying to get the Frogger arcade across the street through traffic and he’s like “Wait a minute…this looks familiar…this reminds me of something. I can do this. I’ve been preparing for this moment my entire life.” Except in my case I’ve been preparing for this moment for the last 7 weeks. Someone put out and APB on anyone who’s been arrested or suspected of any Santaria-related crimes within the past 6 months. Contact all local New York City zoos and ask them if they’re missing any goats and if any suspicious characters have been spotted in recent weeks. I’m gonna head down to Chinatown and start asking questions. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts there’s a headless goat hanging in the window of some Chinese butcher shop right now.

Feitelberg! Fetch me a 6 pack of Lone Star, a pint of Jameson, and whatever that stuff was Rust was injecting into his arms! I’m going undercover. We’ve got work to do.

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