Picture this: it's a cold, windy winter night. The snow is slowly and silently falling. The roads are desolate, and except for the occasional dog sighting, the streets are barren. It's not the kind of weather you want to play in or step into - it's the kind of weather you hide from inside a warm and cozy home.
And fortunately for you, you don't have to hide alone. While it may be cold outside, here on the inside, things are about to get real hot, real quick.
But because you're a romantic gentleman, you know before that happens, you have to set the scene. You pour a couple of glasses of wine, pull out the bear-skinned rug you've been waiting for an excuse to use, place the logs in the fireplace, and light 'em up.
Except... hang on, pause the romance for a second... what is that smell? Is that grease? Are the neighbors smoking a decaying turkey outside? Why does it smell like the we're frying a dead bird up in here?
Oh, that's right - it's because you took yourself to Wal-Mart and decided to spend $18.99 on a log that would make your home smell like a fried animal. Unfortunately, the smell of burning flesh is NOT sexy and your lady is immediately turned off. In fact, the smell is so nauseating, she has to jump in the shower to scrub it off her body, immediately. Alone. While you're left naked with only The Colonel to keep your olfactory company.
Why? Why would anyone do this? The biggest drawback of making fried chicken at home IS the smell! It permeates the furniture, the walls, and eventually manifests itself into a must that lingers for weeks. I get loving fried chicken, but why does that mean your home has to smell like it? I love McD's french fries but once turned down a BEAUTIFUL apartment because it was a couple of buildings down from the Golden Arches and permanently smelled like greasy fries.
Per usual though, I stand alone in my conviction.
LOL - you couldn't get your hands on these logs even if you wanted to because they're out of stock! Unbelievable. Credit where credit is due, between this and the chicken sandwich: KFC knows how to put asses in seats.
The Colonel is king.
Just maybe hold off on lighting your KFC Firelog if you're looking for someone else to flog your log.