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Who Knew Breast Milk Could Be Considered A Weapon?

It's no secret that breasts can be used as weapons. Both in the realm of seduction, as a tool for getting what we want - like important legal documents regarding the corrupt pollution of drinking water... 

And as literal weapons. 

Many of these women live by the mantra of "use what you got to get what you want." Naturally, if this is your mentality and you just happen to be lugging around two precious sacks of milk thanks to the child you pushed out of body and into the world, you're constantly looking for a way to utilize this temporary, God-given gift. Them glands aren't going to stay open forever - waste not, want not! 

And what better place to test those puppies out than on a tram in Germany, after a worker kicks you and your gentleman companion off for not having tickets. 

(In Germany) Police said that when a ticket inspector requested the identification of the 31-year-old woman and her male companion, the woman “exposed her breast and sprayed the ticket controller with breast milk,” the report said.

Responding police officers were forced to pin the woman down to the ground after she refused to provide identifying information, according to Deutsche Welle.

Unbelievable. Historically, German officials have been so progressive and accepting of those different from them - who would have ever thought a little MILK would be what sets them off!?! 

Perhaps if she was squirting out beer they would have been more receptive? Or maybe the officers were lactose intolerant and just the sight of the creamy substance kicked their bowel movements into high gear?

Either way, I'm sure that's not the pinning down this woman was hoping for.  

The woman was taken into custody and brought to the police station where police initiated a criminal complaint for riding without a ticket and grievous bodily harm, the report said.

I always thought German men were strong, brute, masculine men who love to fight and do manly things. At least that was my observation from my very educational, multiple trips to Munich for Oktoberfest. But "grievous bodily harm?" Breastmilk quite literally does the exact opposite - it is the sustainer of life, the developer of strong brains and bodies - and they're accusing it of causing "grievous bodily harm?" What a bunch of pussies. 

Speaking of which… where did her gentleman friend go? 

The man traveling with the woman fled the scene following the shocking boob job.

The only thing shocking here is this man abandoning the woman who LITERALLY used her body to protect them. This poor fucker couldn't even afford to pay for a ticket on the tram! And instead of being grateful he was in the presence of a true ride-or-die, he fled like the coward he is.

You think you know a guy and then he runs offs at the first sight of trouble. SMH. You know what, though? You can't keep these sort of women down. Now she knows what kind of man he really is and she can take her talents and move on to greener pastures. 

There's no use crying over spilled milk.