Is Wearing A Jacket In The Rain Gay Or Something?

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If you don’t live in Boston, it’s raining out today. Hard. Biblical, Jumanji shit. So I had the gall to strut into Barstool HQ wearing a jacket. You know, to stay dry in the aforementioned rain. Well you would have thought I came in riding a sybian and listening to Wham. Literally everyone in the office went bananas calling me gay. Real derogatory shit. It’s a fucking jacket, people. A normal, black jacket. It’s keeping me dry. I’m not dressed like the Gorton firsherman with Mary Poppins’ umbrella shoved up my ass. It’s a practical coat that’s keeping me protected from being a sopping wet mess in the office all day. Pretty standard shit. Like, see all that rain on my shoulders? That would be on my cotton shirt for hours. So what member of the He Man Women Hater’s club forgot to attach me on the memo that outerwear now belongs strictly to homosexuals? Who forgot to tell me that men only wear loin cloths now and if you dress with the slightest bit of intelligence for the climate then you must suck dick? If that’s the rule then that’s the rule, just tell me.