Was Your Thanksgiving Better Than Mine? Probably Not.

Thanksgiving has been a holiday I've begun to appreciate since college. If you would've told me 22 years ago when I was still rocking a helmet and diaper I was going to "do it" for the first time at 23, I would've just stared at you because I was still unable to speak which made my parents and doctors really question if I was special needs. You read the quote from Deke above, but let me explain what led up to this moment.

I went home to Indy for Turkey Day last Saturday. First thing I did was get a fresh fade from my barber Will. 

It was a much-needed haircut. This is what I looked like before getting faded. 

You may have thrown up looking at me, that's because: 

1. I'm a rising Tik Tok Star and this is how to get views.

2. God.

I didn't just feel like a new man after the glow up. I felt like "This was my year" as rappers say.

The next day I was playing basketball at the Indiana Pacers facility. There's a rapper named Jack Harlow who was performing that night. I met him and his team at LaGuardia Airport a year ago and have stayed in touch since. They invited me to play before the show and I ended up hitting a 3 on Jack's manager and a layup on his producer. My ego was going through the roof!

A fresh fade followed and an NBA pickup game in 24 hours? I thought I was a young J.J Redick! I was living on Cloud 9 that weekend, but visited Heaven Wednesday night in Broad Ripple, Indiana. The official location of Blackout Wednesday. I went out with some buddies from high school and we split up around 1am. They went to a piano bar; I went to a place called Brothers. Before locking lips with the lucky lady, I saw a dude's penis in the middle of the bar.

I was waiting in line at Brothers. In the corner of my eye, I recognized this girl I went to high school with. I called her name and it was game over. As soon as she saw me, it was apparent she was a fan of the Mantis. I knew we were meant for each other when we both had to pee at the same time during our conversation. We split up and as I walked to the Men's room, I was approached by 3 gentlemen.

We all said what's up and yada yada. Right as I dapped up with the last guy, one dude pointed to the guy beside him and said, "My friend here has a micro penis!" I laughed and said, "Can't relate". I was about to tell them about BDS when suddenly that guy goes "No, look!" I followed the finger to the friend who had his nuts and caterpillar hanging over his belt. I dropped my jaw and proceeded to grab my drink and head to the bathroom. The weirdest part of this was that they followed me in! I locked myself in the handicapped stall where I belong and waited until the coast was clear.

After that peep show, I regrouped with the lady and my life changed. Long story short, the Mantis made his move and made out with a chick for the first time ever. Since then, I've felt like I'm on top of the world. I immediately texted my friends saying "GUYS, I DID IT. WE HOOKED UP!" They responded, "You fucked!?!?!" I said, "No, we made out!!" They said, "That's not hooking up that's just kissing" I said "Oh".

It's been a long journey, but we did it. It was a pretty cool experience to say the least. I don't know if it was the haircut, the smile, or the fact I looked like a fish kissing the girl, but I think this IS my year. If so, that ends in 29 days, so it was fun while it lasted. I already snapped back into reality this morning when I flew back to Indy. I can't wait to see what Christmas has in store.