Peter: Hey guys.
Michael Bolton: Wassup G
Arguably the most perfectly executed Wassup G in American cinematic history but that's not the point of the blog. Unfortunately.
Instead we're focusing on just how much today sucks. Arguably the worst Monday in the catalogue of 52 Mondays. You have an argument for Monday after the 4th but realistically that's still the time of the year no one is getting shit done. For now, most of us are entering a 5-day stretch of work that is entirely dependent upon making up all the shit we ignored the last 10 days.
If you think this doesn't apply to me think again. As a blogger my fingers are ice cold after what proved to be an exceptionally lovely Thanksgiving holiday. Words are flowing from me like a poorly tapped keg of Keystone Light in the basement of your campus's worst fraternity. But here I am sharing YouTube clips and trying to emphasize a larger cultural issue because that's my duty. Today sucks and the world needs to know.
Chances are your boss has been fucking around on some internal projects deep into the 4th quarter. And there's a greater chance your boss is totally inept and doesn't care about other people. Fucking bosses.
So here you are the Monday after mailing it in for 5 straight 24-hour periods of time and here you are looking for the closest escape.
I regret to inform you there is no escape.
At least not for the next 5 business days. No sir.
Instead, you're balls deep in overcompensating for a wide-scale overwhelming neglect of corporate responsibilities. You - being one of the few sensible people left in the department - are discouraged but optimistic that once you get over this hurdle, you'll be smooth sailing into a great holiday season. You might even get ahead of the curve for the first time ever by purchasing your presents on Amazon. You won't, but it's nice to think about the savings and convenience.
Point is today sucks and there's no where to run and hide except right here. Barstool Sports.
My name is carl and I'm at your service. Trust me when I say it's my passion.