The Eagles Lose To The 2-9 Miami Dolphins And Possibly Deserve To Be Put Down

I don’t even know anymore, man. I don’t even know. This team is just…gutless. For the past few weeks, at least you could somewhat chalk things up to injuries. Is that a bullshit excuse? Yes. But when you’re missing the likes of every capable WR (Alshon only had 16 targets today), your best LB in Nigel Bradham, and a few Pro-Bowl offensive lineman in Brooks and Lane Johnson, it’s gonna effect your play vs. some of the best teams in the league. But what now? WHAT’S YOUR FUCKING EXCUSE NOW, DOUG AND HOWIE?!?!?!? The Miami Dolphins are a dumpster fire filled with dogshit. Ryan Fitzpatrick has gashed Jim Schwartz defenses for 750+ yards over his last 8 quarters played. Coming into this game the Dolphins had 18 total offensive TD’s…today they had 5 straight TD drives alone. FIVE STRAIGHT!!! They only average 14.8 points! 3rd worst in the NFL! Not to mention the Eagles blew a 14 point lead in the second half. The Eagles defense was being torched by the last place Dolphins via a 185-year-old QB, a #3 WR, a practice squad FB, and a punter.

But…but…Carson Wentz! It’s all his fault! He only passed for 310 yards and 3 TD’s (with a garbage time pick)! Wentz should’ve passed for 7500 yards and 18 TD’s! What a fucking bum!

Look, Wentz wasn’t perfect, again, but for once with everyone healthy, especially on defense, the blame goes everywhere. From Howie on down to the fucking ball boy. This loss is inexcusable. Gonna be cute seeing Brandon Graham with his swaggy walk to the locker room yelling “We OK! We OK!” like he does after every loss. Sure, they can still win the division…and then promptly get stomped by the 49ers and Seahawks at home. Fun! Now let’s beat the Giants at home next Monday night and give everyone false hope that this is an actual playoff team.