Manchester Bro Arrested For "Driving While Snorting"

(Herald) — A Manchester, N.H., man took hands-free driving to a new level yesterday. Stephen Bolser was pulled over after a cop said he spotted him “driving while snorting” without any hands on the wheel … as he motored by police headquarters. “The driver was holding a book up to his chin with one hand while appearing to be snorting something through a straw with the other,” Manchester police Officer Derek Cataldo reported. The officer pulled the car over and reported he noticed the driver, identified as 24-year-old Bolser, had a “white powdery substance” on his shirt and in one nostril. The cop also reported discovering “a black book inside the vehicle with traces of white powder on it as well as a straw near the center console.” The cop searched Bolser, with his consent, and reported finding “three pills inside a cigarette holder. The pills were tentatively identified as Adderal,” police report. Adderal is available only with a prescription.

I fundamentally don’t understand this story. Did he just chop up his drugs then decide “OK, I could just snort this now but I’d rather do it at 80 MPH. That’s how you really nail the rush.” Because driving is pretty difficult. I struggle to eat behind the wheel, struggle to text, struggle to change my songs. So I have to imagine cutting up a line while keeping both eyes on the road is difficuly. But I guess it’s true what they say, not everything has to make sense, including the guy behind the wheel who looks like he just motorboated Whitney Houston’s ashes.