DM — Sixth graders at a New York City school no longer have to read a book on their summer reading list after parents objected to its sexual content. Angry parents had ‘The Absolutely True Diary of a Part-Time Indian’ struck off the reading list for 11-year-old kids attending Public School/Middle School 114 in Rockaway Park, Queens because they objected to passages about masturbation. All incoming sixth-graders had been originally expected to write a graded-essay on the book, until outraged parents raised their objections. The award-winning young adult novel, by author Sherman Alexie, is about a Native American boy who transfers into an all-white high school. It includes lines such as: ‘And if God hadn’t wanted us to masturbate, then God wouldn’t have given us thumbs. So I thank God for my thumbs.’ One angry parent said she didn’t want the school dictating when she had to discuss masturbation with her son. ‘It’s about… masturbation – which is not appropriate for my child to learn at 11,’ Kelly-Ann McMullan-Preiss, 39, told the New York Daily News.
“And if God hadn’t wanted us to masturbate, then God wouldn’t have given us thumbs.” Fucking brilliant. What do you mean it’s a sin to jerk-off? God gave us opposable thumbs didn’t he? What else would we use those for? Only thing I can think of is to grasp your dick and jerk it into bolivion. Nothing else practical strikes me. Certainly wasn’t for survival or lifting toilet seats. Just for shameful, solo orgasms cheffed up by yours truly. Just love the “God invented it excuse.” If God didn’t want me to spend most of my time drinking beer, jerking off or watching sports then he shouldn’t have invented hops, thumbs or HGH. That’s on his conscience, not mine.