ArlNow – A 26-year-old Reston woman was arrested Saturday night after allegedly showing up naked at the Arlington Magistrate’s Office. Police say Maura Fussell arrived at the magistrate’s office around 11:00 p.m. seeking to visit her husband, who had been arrested in Clarendon earlier that day. She was drunk, completely naked and refused to get dressed or leave in a cab, according to Arlington County Police spokesman Dustin Sternbeck. Sternbeck was unable to say whether Fussell arrived at the office wearing clothes and subsequently removed them, or whether she arrived there naked. Fussell was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and drunk in public. She was held in jail until sober, police said.
Well, well well. Look what we have here. Right in my own back yard. Doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened here. Saturday was the St. Paddy’s bar crawl. Anything can happen during the Arlington/Clarendon bar crawl. Shit, I got kicked out of Spider Kelly’s. Do you know how impossible it is to get kicked out of Spider Kelly’s? An anti-semite has a better chance of getting kicked out of the Nazis. But yet, it happened.
But more importantly, I would too like to know if she arrived clothed, or stripped once she got there. It’s sort of vital to the entire story, is it not? I’d like to believe she stripped when she got there out of pure excitement for jail sex. Was so horned up she tore off her pants like she was entering a basketball game. If she was naked upon arrival, I would be very, very dissapointed.