Bacon Prices Are Skyrocketing Because of a Piglet Diarrhea Epidemic

WP - Breakfast is getting expensive. Bacon was $5.56 a pound at the end of January, up from $3.63 in 2010, according to recent Bureau of Labor Statistics data. Always popular, bacon has been booming in recent years, showing up in the oddest of places: bacon infused booze, bacon bouquets, bacon lip balm, a bacon-scented iPhone alarm clock, even a bacon flavored personal lubricant. But the major price driver is unappetizing: a pig diarrhea epidemic that has killed more than four million piglets since last spring, threatening to reduce supply and push bacon prices up further, Steve Meyer, president of Paragon Economics, told CNBC. “On the retail level, we expect that increased cost is going to be passed through to consumers,” Brett Elliott, vice president of Monogram Prepared Meats in Harlan, IA, told Omaha.com. “It will take a while to show up.”

There’s news, and there is news. And this is news. Not sure what’s going on over in pigletville, but they need to clean it the fuck up, stat. Mix in a few Pepcids to the trough. Cause I don’t like to hear 4 million little piggies are dying because of explosive diarrhea. And I’m not even one of those bacon hipsters who thinks bacon is the end all be all. In fact, I think bacon is better at breakfast than on a sandwich at lunch or a burger at dinner. That’s where bacon is best- in it’s most pure form. Sitting next to eggs. I don’t need to add bacon to everything and tell everyone about bacon and be ol Bacon McBacon pants over here. People who are like that are the worst. But I digress. Can you imagine if there was a human diarrhea epidemic and it was our new plague? Imagine history books 100 years from now having to explain that. That’s what pigs are going through right now. A sad time in pig history. Can’t be good. Shitting til you die. We’ve all felt like that may happen at one time or another on a terrible Sunday morning, but piglets are living our nightmare. Gonna pour one out for those lil fellas tonight.