Merchapolooza | 10% Off The Barstool Store When You Use Your Favorite Personality's CodeSHOP NOW

Browns Successfully Avoid Hitting Anyone With A Helmet; Also Win Game

A week after the most disgusting, heinous, offensive, repulsive thing in the history of the NFL…

…the Browns found a way to win their third consecutive game.

With the exception of a bit of a lull in the second half, the Browns blew out the Dolphins… and that’s how it should be.

Despite their early struggles and a coach in over his head, the Browns have too much talent to not be blowing out crappy teams like the Dolphins. The absence of the suspended Myles Garrett and Larry Ogunjobi, as well as the injury to Olivier Vernon, didn’t really matter for the Browns today. (The Garrett absence is going to sting eventually…)

Let’s get the elephant in the room out of the way…


Somehow, someway, the Browns are in the playoff hunt and you know they’re going to find a way to end this season in depressing fashion. Just look at their damn schedule! Four games against teams they’ll be favored to beat and the other a home game against a team they beat the snot out of earlier in the season (I must note that the Ravens have improved so much since that loss, what a concept, and are head and shoulders above the Browns).

Look, I have no expectations for the Browns to make the playoffs anymore (laughing at my pre-season optimistic self), but at least their remaining games will have some form of relevance.

What’s already depressing is known they’re going to finish in the 7-9, 8-8 or 9-7 range, get a middle-of-the-road bland draft pick and then miss the playoffs. We will then be left sitting there all offseason thinking back on the disastrous blown leads to Los Angeles and Seattle and the missed opportunity in the Denver. That entire situation already has me sick to my stick. The Browns have no business being in this position, but, of course, here we are, folks.

Nevertheless, they won today and that gives us a week to be happy.


I will lump these three today, but let’s start with Baker Mayfield…


Baker had a really nice day and has thrown for 758 yards, only one interception (once again off the hands of a receiver) and eight total touchdowns in the Browns’ three-game win streak. He’s not fully back to the guy we saw last season, but he looks better…

The LSU tandem finally had a big game as well…


Stuff like this…

…results in photos like this.

I was happy with all three of these guys on the same day. Let’s rejoice.


Freddie Kitchens still doesn’t really lean on Nick Chubb and Kareem Hunt as much as he should, but when he does, they eat up the grass…

They were beyond good today and could have likely beat the Dolphins on their own…


Chubb and Hunt also caught a combined five passes for around 75 yards (they also ran a wheel route for Nick Chubb, a shocking play-call from this staff). These two should be the backbone of the offense the rest of the season, I don’t even think there’s a question there. The problem? I don’t think Freddie Kitchens knows that, but we shall see.


Everyone’s favorite “Who?” Pro Bowler, Joe Schober…

…followed up his two-interception game against the Steelers with yet another two-interception game against the Dolphins.

Scho stepped up in a big way on Sunday and was the linchpin in the Browns’ defense against the Dolphins. He gets knocked for his lack of speed, but the guy is solid and has hit the best level of his career this season.

So, here we stand, Browns fans, the team is 5-6 after a horribly disappointing start. The schedule remains easy, but there is still the chance they just shit the bed the rest of the way. It will probably take a 5-0 finish, with a win over the Ravens, to get into the playoffs. I’ll be pessimistic and say I just don’t see it happening, but, for now, let’s take one game at a time and enjoy every sliver of fun and positivity possible.

Go Browns.