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Irish Mountain Biker Suffers 7 Week Erection After Crash

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NYDN - An Irish mountain biker suffered an embarrassing seven-week erection after straddling his bike’s crossbar. The red-faced 22-year-old was left unable to have sex for almost two months as his penis refused to die down.  After five weeks, he finally decided to visit Dublin’s Tallaght Hospital. An initial examination revealed “no signs of injury, but penis was erect.”  Doctors diagnosed him as having priapism, where blood flow to his member was abnormally high. Pressure dressing treatment failed, reports the Irish Independent.  So doctors inserted gel foam and four tiny platinum coils at an abnormal connection between an artery and a vein. It worked by reducing the “high flow,” reports the Irish Examiner. The case was highlighted in the latest issue of the Irish Medical Journal, which stated that had the “rigid erection” gone untreated then it could have caused a dangerous blood clot. It added that the man has since reported enjoying “satisfactory erections and intercourse.”

You know how fucking rock hard an Irish boner has to be to last 7 weeks? Through like 2 months of drinking and shit? If a tiny Irish pecker stays hard through 7 weeks of Whiskey Dick you know you have a problemI mean I suppose I shouldn’t speak for all the other Mick Donkeys out there but for my Irish ass my dick staying hard is a blessing, not a curse.

I guess when its so hard you can’t have sex it officially becomes an issue though. All from crashing your bike. Unbelievable huh? I smashed my dick into my handlebars when I was a teenager no less than 500 times, and never once did I ever see anything like this. Then again I’m pretty sure my dick was hard from like ’98-’01 anyway. Handlebar dick smash or no handlebar dick smash. Except I didn’t need gel foam and platinum coils inserted into my dick to calm it down. I just JO’d into a tube sock watching scrambled porn until it finally went down.