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Move Over, Patrick McGillicuddy! This Boston Fan Suffering From "Playoff Fatigue" Is My New Least Favorite Person Ever

Mr. Playoff Fatigue

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Patrick McGillicuddy 

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Boston Globe – When the New England Patriots offered season-ticket holders the opportunity to buy playoff tickets in mid-November, longtime fan Robert Biggs did something out of character. He said no. “Don’t get me wrong — the atmosphere at playoff games is fantastic,” said Biggs, a Boston firefighter. But he’s already been to six or seven Patriots playoff games in recent years, as well as a Super Bowl. And so, with Christmas bills in mind, he said his $400 could be better spent. “As a New England sports fan you kind of get used to it. It’s like, here we go again.” Over the past decade, Boston teams have made it to the playoffs so many times that the once-unthinkable may be settling in: Some fans have become a bit blase about it all. “There is definitely playoff fatigue at this point in Boston,” said Glenn Lehrman, a spokesman for ticket dealer StubHub. The evidence? Tickets on the secondary market for this Saturday’s Patriots game against the Indianapolis Colts at Gillette Stadium cost substantially less than tickets for the other three playoff games around the country. In fact, prices for Patriots playoff tickets have been falling steadily since they played the 2011 postseason, according toSeatGeek , which tracks the resale market among fans and brokers. The average seat for the AFC divisional playoff at Gillette was selling for $171 on Thursday, according to SeatGeek. That’s compared with $356 for the Seahawks-Saints game, $324 for the Broncos-Chargers matchup, $273 for the Panthers-49ers. In 2011, tickets for the Pats-Jets divisional game went for an average of $302. StubHub’s Lehrman has a theory about Boston’s meh state of mind. “A lot of people want to go to a sporting event as much for the memory as the ability to tell people ‘I was there,’” he said. “But once you’ve done it, there isn’t as big a need to do it again. How many times can you update your Facebook page with ‘Look where I am!’” Boston’s recent win record means that fans seeking to rationalize pricey tickets can no longer rely on the old “it’s a once-in-a-lifetime chance” line. These days, postseason sports opportunities arrive as reliably as twice-yearly dental appointments. In the past year alone, a diehard sports fan could have indulged in postseason splurges for the Celtics, Bruins, Red Sox, and the Patriots.

Well would you look at that! Patrick McGillicuddy has been dethroned as my number 1 murder target! From now on, as I lay my head down to sleep, I’ll be thinking of ways to murder this Boston fan suffering from Playoff Fatigue. I’m thinking arson will be the way to do it. Nice little twist of irony there to kill a firefighter via arson. Christ on the fucking cross I can’t take this shit. This is like the sports equivalent of First World Problems. “So many playoff games I just can’t muster up the excitement anymore.” You motherfuckers. At this point I have no choice but to put a hit out on Portnoy and Feitelberg. I’m convinced its their soul-selling thats flipped the sports world upside down and as long as they still live and breathe this Boston streak will continue.

Whats funny about it all though is Boston fans have officially become what they used to hate. Everything they stood for is out the window. Now don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to troll here: any fan base in the world would trade unprecedented levels of championship success for the blue collar, die hard fan mentality, But facts are facts, they’ve become the spoiled sports brats that they used to despise. That Yankee Fan Mentality represents their entire fan base now. Can’t be bothered to go to playoff games. Can’t appreciate the success they’re seeing. The whole region of New England has just become Yankee Fans.

Fucking Feitelberg. I just realized I think I hate him more than McGillicuddy and Mr. Playoff Fatigue. The whole time I wrote this I just saw his stupid face and his bouncing tits celebrating another championship. That lucky little metrosexual bitch.