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A Big Fella From Florida Tried To Hide A Bag Meth Inside His Cavernous Belly Button

CLEARWATER, Fla. – A Florida man has finally figured out what a belly button is actually good for… stashing drugs. Martin Skelly, 41, was arrested Saturday after he showed up at a Clearwater McDonald’s with a loaded needle, The Smoking Gun reports. Skelly was transported to jail where he underwent a full body search. Despite telling officers he had no additional contraband during his arrest, a jail deputy found a baggie filled with methamphetamine “wedged deep within the belly button cavity” of the 380 lb. Skelly. According to the police report, upon finding the drugs in his belly button, Skelly responded, “I was just being dumb and not thinking.”

All things considered, not the worst idea I’ve ever heard. I’m not a police officer, but if I were, I’d always accidentally “forget” to check the suspect’s belly button. It’d always be the one place that slipped my mind and/or be the place I refuse to search. If the suspect just so happens to have drugs in their belly button like this big fella in Florida then I’d have no choice but to tip my cap and let them get away with it. Carry all the drugs you want if you’re gonna carry them inside your belly button, that’d be my official policing policy.

Also, does this part of the article make it sound like the guy simply forgot he had stashed meth in his belly button to anybody else?

According to the police report, upon finding the drugs in his belly button, Skelly responded, “I was just being dumb and not thinking.”

Now that would be incredible and somehow more believable. Meth heads must misplace their meth stash all the time and this particular meth head stashes his in his belly button. He probably ripped apart his apartment looking for that stash and the whole time it was on his person. It’s like when someone thinks they’ve lost their sunglasses but they’re sitting on top of their head. Who knows how long that bag of meth has been stored in his belly button, could’ve been months.