"Spitzert Caught Sucking Lis Smith's Toes In Topless Hot Tub Romp"

NY Post – Sleazy Eliot Spitzer turned a resort hot tub into a steamy love cauldron over the weekend — kissing and sucking the toes of his topless mistress, Lis Smith, in front of families with children, mortified witnesses told The Post. The still-married former Love Gov and Smith, Mayor de Blasio’s ex-mouthpiece, were spied frolicking near the family pool at around 4?p.m. Sunday at the Half Moon family resort in Montego Bay, Jamaica. “It was gross,” said a hotel witness, who was vacationing with her family. “She had her top off.” The disgraced Spitzer — infamous for wearing his signature black knee socks while having sex with hookers — appears to have a bit of a foot fetish as well, according to onlookers. “He was licking her toes,” the witness said. “She would sit in his lap. Then he’d put her feet in his mouth. He licked her toes and was playing with her feet.” The couple’s public display became a spectacle at the resort, which was frequented by John and Jackie Kennedy during his presidency. A 10-year-old boy who saw Smith topless in the pool ran back to his parents and shouted, “Mom there’s an old guy in the Jacuzzi with this girl and she’s topless and she’s got her legs wrapped around him,” sources said. The boy’s cries — “He’s sucking on her toes!” alerted other guests, who walked over to catch an eyeful.

Couple things here – first: you’d be hard pressed to find a better headline than this one today. The Post really just cutting to the chase with this shit. Not “Disgraced Governor Caught In Explicit Acts On Caribbean Vacation.” Not “Spitzer Caught Committing Lewd Acts At Hotel Pool.” They just straight up told it like it was. Surprised they didn’t go with “That Motherfucker Spitzer Was Sucking Toes Of That Topless Bitch He’s Been Fucking.”

Secondly: you’ll be hard pressed to find a better description of any man, ever, than this: “infamous for wearing his signature black knee socks while having sex with hookers.” That is one seriously fucked up reputation to have. Like describe Eliot Spitzer in 5 words or less. Answer: black knee socks fucks hookers.Thats his “signature look.” Nylon work socks with busted elastic slipping down his calves and his penis buried inside a hooker. Thats Eliot!

And thirdly, you just gotta love when people hit rock bottom. When people just declare “I don’t give a fuck anymore.” Its actually pretty refreshing to see. I’m happy for people when they bottom out like this. Like Eliot Spitzer lived his whole life hiding everything in his personal life. Always worried about his reputation and public perception because of his job. Banging hookers in secret because he liked to basically beat chicks up when he was in bed. Putting on this facade to everyone he met. And then he got caught and lost everything and now he’s just like “Fuck it! I’ll suck the toes of some topless married broad in front of a 10 year old boy! I ain’t governor anymore! I’ll wear whatever socks and fuck whoever I want!” Good for Eliot.