Bagel Boss Has Suffered a Stroke. And While I'm No Doctor, I Think I've Identified the Cause.

Source - The infamous 'Bagel Boss' guy has suffered a stroke and is now unable to move one side of his body.

Chris Morgan – who was filmed in a viral video in July yelling and ranting at customers inside at a Bagel Boss shop in Long Island - fell ill outside a deli in the same New York area on Wednesday.

Video footage shows the moments after the 45-year-old was hospitalized and a Twitter post includes close-up images of Morgan recovering in bed. ...

'He currently has no feeling on one side and won't open his eyes,' his manager Bill Shannon wrote on a GoFundMe page. 'He acknowledged verbal correspondence upon my arrival.' ...

The stroke occurred just nine days after a Boston webcam model claimed Morgan wouldn't stop harassing her after they met for a couple of work projects.  

'I told him I have a boyfriend, but Chris kept saying "You could do so much better." He kept telling me how famous he was and asked me "How does it feel finally meeting me in person?",' Sarah Russi told Page Six last Monday.

'Chris then kept texting me, but I didn’t respond. Then on Tuesday, he sent me this picture with his shirt off. I was like "What the hell? Does he really think I’ll be turned on and text him back? He doesn’t exactly look that sexy".' 

I'm a big believer in the old adage that God doesn't give us any more than you can handle. Well it would seem that the Good Lord is seeing exactly how much He can pile onto Chris Morgan before his stout legs and Lilliputian shoulders and no longer bear the burden. Because our Bagel Boss here has had to hold up under a strain that would kill a lesser man. 

To be clear, a gentleman needs to recognize when a lady is saying "no" and accept it as meaning "no." But I don't think even the strictest feminist and the staunchest opponent of toxic masculinity among us can begrudge the man for trying to turn his newfound Bagel Boss fame to his advantage when it comes to meeting women. In fact, we ought to admire him for it. Pick a metaphor. Any metaphor. That's playing the cards you were dealt. Shooting your shot. Using the tools that are in your toolbox. I respect his attempt, misguided though it may have been. 

And just to get a handle on what he was trying to pull off, here's a sample of Sarah Russi's modeling on the Gram:

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But here's where the story takes a sharp turn into Bananaland. Because as I was going through her Instagram portfolio, I found this photo, and realized I've written about her before:

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That other, much older, even more diminutive guy with Sarah Russi is inexplicably famous 1970s child star Mason Reese. Who's not just her Sugar Daddy, but going on British TV with her to explain how much crazy sex he's having with her. 

And yet she won't give Bagel Boss the time of day. That's got to be a tough pill for a man of Bagel Boss' level of celebrity to swallow. He looked at her and looked at Reese and just assumed she was into small, old, unattractive famous men and was rejected. Again, he shouldn't have pushed it. It's wrong to make women feel uncomfortable 100% of the time. But you can understand where the stress of realizing he wasn't good enough for her would drive him over the edge under the circumstances. This would take a physical toll on any man.

So with that, I stand with Bagel Boss' friend Lenny Dykstra when I offer him our sincerest hope for a speedy - and full - recovery. Godspeed, big guy.