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I Support Our Overlord Jeff Bezos In His Quest To Buy An NFL Team/The Redskins/The Entire League/The Universe

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I crack up every time I see these pictures of Jeff Bezos in his big Megazord. You know he hops into it in his secret compound and walks around like a god. You absolutely know it’s the first thing he shows the girls he brings back to his secret layer. Lord knows he made sure the engineers put a massive dick on that thing so he could have robot sex. Absolutely 110% positive of it.

So naturally, the NFL wants Bezos in their club. No shit. He’s worth 100 billion dollars. He basically runs the universe. He got divorced and lost 100 billion dollars and still had another 100 billion dollars. And there is mutual interest between him and the NFL to buy a team.

CBS - Multi-billionaire Jeff Bezos has interest in purchasing an NFL team and has become close with several current owners, according to league sources, and has strong support within the league to eventually join their ranks. Bezos, the Amazon mogul who also owns the Washington Post, has spend considerable time around owners, including Washington’s Dan Snyder, and is in the process of moving to Washington.

Bezos is one of the richest people on the planet and watched the last Super Bowl from commissioner Roger Goodell’s suite, sources said. Powerful owners like Jerry Jones believe he would be a great addition to the NFL, to say nothing of the ability to pay top dollar, in cash, for a franchise to his liking as they become available.

Bezos’ move to Washington is creating a stir in that area, as is his ties to Snyder. Snyder has been trying for years to get a state-of-the-art downtown stadium built in DC, growing increasingly frustrated by the location and age of FedEx Field. Bezos moved the Washington Post to a new location after purchasing the paper, is setting up an Amazon hub in the area and some believe could aid Snyder’s pursuit of a new stadium, perhaps even with an Amazon sponsorship.

Look- if Bezos can use his witchcraft and wizardry to get lil Dan Dan to sell him the team, I’m all about it. I mean Bezos will build such a compound for the Skins it’ll make Jerry World look like a center for ants

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He’ll be injecting the players with untraceable super steroids, he’ll be cloning Dwayne Haskins and injecting new Haskins with Tom Brady’s DNA to build a super-quarterback, the whole 9 yards.

Will Snyder actually sell? Not by choice, obviously. Bu who knows, maybe a questionable tape leaks of a phone call, maybe Bezos makes him an offer he can’t refuse, or maybe his yacht gets caught up in a tsunami. We can only hope.