Black Friday Weekend - 20% OffShop Now

The Patriots Lost So the Dynasty Has to Be Over. Again. It Was Fun While it Lasted, I Guess.

“This is the way the world ends, not with a bang, but a whimper.”
–T. S. Eliot

There’s not a man, woman or child among us who, at some point, hasn’t wondered how this was going to end. Would Tom Brady get hurt? Would he suddenly age right before our eyes, like Benjamin Button in reverse? Would a viral pandemic wipe out the human race? Would the sun go nova? Would Thanos snap his fingers, turning everyone on the Patriots roster into Infinity ashes except the Special Teamers? Well it would appear at long last we have our answer.

The Patriots lost a game. On the road. To a 6-2 team. There is no coming back from this. This is the first time the Dynasty has been over since last December 16th:


But you can’t go around losing a game every 322 days without there being horrible, severe consequences. 13 game winning streaks don’t simply end. There are ramifications. Portentous signs of doom.

I mean, do you realize that the loss to Baltimore drops the Patriots record to just 10-1 with a points ratio of 320-132 (+188) since a relaxed Mr. Kraft strolled out of a strip mall in Jupiter, FL with spring in his step bound for Kansas City? If this was English soccer, they’d be moved down to a lower league for failure of that magnitude.

So it’s time we faced some terrible truths. The experts can’t be wrong. (This time.) The Ravens are your Super Bowl champions. Otherwise they wouldn’t be taking team photos, amirite? Nick Wright. Skip Bayless. Shannon Sharpe … wearing a chef’s hat for heaven’s sake! A chef’s hat! Just to show how serious he is about this. If he was any more deadly serious he’d be slapping Skip’s hand and telling him to use a cocktail stick. These guys only declared the Patriots dead five times last year. So this time around, they almost have to be right.

And you have to worry about the days to come, when we’ll hear from the other usual suspects like Rob Parker and Cliff Kellerman. Then we’ll know it’s truly the end of the line. Because it’s not as if people overreact every time the Patriots lose. Trent Dilfer, let’s hear from you.