This Craigslist Ad Asking For A "Really Skinny Person That Will Act Hungry" Is So Outrageous

Craigslist – My kids are becoming really picky eaters and arn’t finishing their plates. I told them “There are starving people out there who would love to have that,” but they don’t seem to get it. I would like to force them to throw away the food from their unfinished plates in front of someone who is really really skinny who will act hungry.

I’d love for you to get into the role. Maybe a wide-eyed-whimper and extension of an emancipated claw/hand as the meatloaf slides into the trash can. Must be able to pull off dejected as you sulk away.

I’d love to avoid meth skinny for obvious reasons. Also actual hunger skinny because that meatloaf is staying in the trash. Also would like to avoid some sort of body-image-malfunction skinny because my daughter is so impressionable right now (which is why it’s prime time to teach this lesson). My #1 choice would be parasite skinny, but I know chances of finding that are slim.

• Location: S Scottsdale
• it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
• Compensation: no pay

I’ve become one of the most cynical people in history. And it kills me. Because I want to believe this Craigslist ad. I want to believe it’s real more than anything in the world. I can picture some rich, blonde mother hacking away at her MacBook while her husband is out golfing, asking Google how she can get her kids to eat more. Then having an epiphany and thinking, “Oh, I’ll just have an Ethiopian-looking person come to my house and act like Oliver Twist. Duh! But only if they’re parasite skinny because poor meth heads are gross and I don’t want Susie thinking about anorexia until at least high school.” But alas, much like Craiglist ads, the internet has ruined me. Everything is fake.

And if it is real, which it I know it isn’t, asking for a skinny person to come to your house and act hungry, while your kids throw away food right in their face, for zero compensation, is the best thing ever.