I Wouldn't Move To Tulsa, Oklahoma For Anything Short Of A Million Dollars

CNN - If you work remotely and want to make an extra $10,000, relocating to Tulsa might be your next move.  

Tulsa Remote, a program funded by the George Kaiser Family Foundation, is offering 250 people the opportunity to make $10,000 by simply moving to Oklahoma, the organizers announced Tuesday. The money comes in the form of a grant and is distributed to the recipient over the course of a year.  

Yeahhh that's going to be a no from me, dog. I'm a firm believer in the idea that money talks, but if you want me to move to Tulsa, Oklahoma, it's going to take a heck of a lot more than $10,000. And look, I'm not even coming from LA or Miami or somewhere desirable to live. I'm coming from Ohio. The only people that live here are those that grew up here and the people that are forced to live here for work until they can move elsewhere else. I'd move just about anywhere for 20 bucks right now, but I don't even think I'd go on vacation to Tulsa for $10,000.

So yeah, I'm not even going to consider the idea, even though I think I would be a prime candidate for the program. It's not a bad deal for a part-time blogger, because apparently they're looking for people who work from a remote location (can't be employed in Oklahoma), and then they'll give you $10,000 to do that work from their state. Because their big master plan is that once they get you into Tulsa, you'll fall in love and want to stay....

"If we could get people to come for a year, we believed we could get them to stay longer," Bolzle told CNN.

Not. A. Chance.

I googled "Things to Do In Tulsa" and shockingly, the results kinda sucked. They have a minor league baseball team and the University of Tulsa, so basically a minor league college too. Other than that, looked like a bunch of nothing. Not to mention too that there's no where else close by to visit because you're in god damn Oklahoma. I'm trying to think of a state I'd like to live in less than Oklahoma, but I'm honestly not sure there is one. Maybe Nebraska? Maybe. Other than that, I'm sure people will toss out North and South Dakota, but I could get behind the seclusion of never having to see my neighbors ever again. The only other acceptable answer is Utah. Holy shit Utah would suck. I'm pretty sure stores can only sell 3.2% beer or something, and you're telling me that a .05% BAC constitutes drunk driving? You can get that using mouth wash in the morning!

I respect the effort out of these people in this Tulsa Remote foundation with what they're trying to do though. They need to get more people in the city, and they know the #1 thing people want is cold hard cash. They didn't fluff around. Money talks. But let's be realistic here...you want me to pack up and move there?? Make a million bucks and then we'll talk.