I've been trying to figure out how to start this blog for a while, so I'm just going to be blunt. If you are spending one second of your free time in life heading to the South Bronx in order to get a sweet ass picture for your Insta, an egg to the head is probably the perfect way to get the wakeup call you clearly need. Because between the countless stories over the last 50 years or so as well as pretty much every video filmed at Yankee Stadium starring an opposing fan and the resident Yankee fan skells would tell you, the Bronx isn't exactly the most welcoming place in the world to out-of-towners. I don't care how many Likes you think your picture is going to get or how good the memes are. Willfully heading up to Jerome Ave. in order to pocket a few hearts on social media is flat out crazy.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying what this young entrepreneur is doing is right. In fact, he is very wrong about pretty much everything, from his general outlook on life to his Philip Rivers throwing motion with Weird Haircut Seth's throwing distance to his "The Joker would be throwing eggs too" line. Say what you want to say about The Joker. But he isn't your everyday run of the mill asshole or even a spectacular asshole like our small business owning friend here. The Joker wouldn't dare resort to the level of a derelict throwing eggs at tourists because they don't support local businesses. He may throw eggs because he is an agent of chaos that wants to shake peoples' belief that the world is a good place or as a statement about how social media stunts our growth since there is always a method to the Joker's madness. Which is why I sincerely doubt The Joker gives a single fuck about how many people are shopping at the local bodega before/after venturing up to the Boogie Down for a simple picture on a set of stairs like a bunch of goddamn morons. If anything, he probably gets off thinking about the amount of misery that a journey to the Bronx likely caused a bunch of tourists and that's before any potential muggings occurred.
In related news, this video is the best thing I saw all week: