Zlatan Ibrahimovic Exits The MLS In Incredible Fashion
I’m not going to dive into this blog and pretend like I have a single, solitary fucking clue about the contract status between Zlatan Ibrahimovic and the LA Galaxy. But from the sounds of everything that just came up in the Twitter search I did of his name, this was it. This was the last time we’ll see him on an MLS pitch. And I cannot imagine going out like any more of a boss than this.
In the game itself he told the ref to fuck off and scored the game-tying goal. I’d call that a perfect game. Did the Galaxy win? No, no they sure didn’t. That’s not Zlatan’s fault nor problem. If the rest of the dregs on his squad could keep up they’d win every game by double digits and they’d be the most quotable team in the history of organized sports. But there’s only one Zlatan, which he was sure to remind everyone of with his parting remarks.
If I was the commissioner of the MLS I’d schedule a press conference right now for tomorrow morning for the sole purpose of announcing our League’s rebranding as the MLZ. Major League Zlatan would put asses in seats not just in this country, but in every country. Because there is only one Zlatan. He knows it, I know it, we all know it. I blogged back at the begging of the Summer that Zlatan by himself would be enough to get me to give a semblance of a fuck in the MLS, specifically because of nights like this. Michael Jordan didn’t predict the crumbling of the NBA during any of his retirement speeches. Barry Bonds didn’t come out and proclaim the MLB would collapse under the magnitude of him being forcibly removed from baseball. A hockey reference would go here in order to abide by the rule of three. Zlatan predicting the untimely demise of the MLS if they don’t run him dozens of more millions of dollars is the caliber of shit talk very few human beings throughout history could say without it sounding like a cold, hard fact. The cockiest prick to ever grace God’s green Earth and I respect every fiber of his being because of it.
