Perhaps The Most Nauseating Article I've Ever Read About The Cardinals Fans
ST. LOUIS — The beer-cradling Cardinals fans should have been celebrating. Dustin Pedroia was trotting back to the dugout, called out when he clearly had been safe. A few hesitant, half-hearted, half-guilty cheers rose in a cavernous sports bar. And then, in the shadow of Busch Stadium, the unthinkable occurred. “They should drug-test that ump — now! That’s not cool,” bartender Dominique DiGregorio yelled during Game 1 of the World Series. Up and down the long bar at Paddy O’s, in a scene hard to imagine at Boston’s Cask ’n Flagon if the situation were reversed, the heads of red-clad faithful bobbed in solemn agreement. Boston had been robbed, they said, and that’s not fair — even in the World Series. The call was overturned, but a selfless point had been made. “This is a different breed of people, and they have a lot to be happy about,” said Tom Grieshaber, a stadium security guard standing near the bar. Eleven world championships, second only to the New York Yankees, has something to do with that. But decades of success seem to have bred amiability instead of arrogance. So when the World Series shifts to St. Louis on Saturday, don’t expect the game to sound the same, Cardinals fans said over and over in this unpretentious city. If a boo is heard, blame a rare malcontent. If a Cardinals pitcher is roughed up, expect applause when he is given the hook. And if the Red Sox win, well, more power to them. “Believe me, we’re very competitive, and we want to win,” said Jean Musial Edmonds, the youngest child of the late Stan Musial, the greatest Cardinal of them all. “But if they do bad, it’s like, you’ll do better next time.” Across the store, Todd Thomas tried on a few caps in preparation for Game 3. Thomas is the team’s “in-game emcee,” a job in which he interviews fans who are shown on the giant video screen in Busch Stadium. Thomas bristled when asked whether St. Louis fans, for all their devotion to the team and the game, are guilty of being too polite. After all, isn’t a little over-the-top human frailty sometimes a good thing? “When you’re in the Northeast, it’s a different culture. Here, it’s go ahead and cut in front of me,” said Thomas, a wide-eyed 43-year-old who made a fist to show off his World Series ring. “If I could be one thing, I’ll be too nice. There’s no turning cars over here, no riots in the street. That’s just the way it is,” he added. “We may just hug someone to death, though.”
Pardon me while I try to wipe the goddam vomit off of my keyboard. I’m already fired up as it is with that asshole Banksy, now I gotta deal with this St. Louis shit. I’ve already given you my opus on the dickhead Cardinals fans. I discussed them on MailTime on Friday. But this might be the worst one of all. This fucking article flat out saying St. Louis fans are a “different breed.” So much to “be happy about” in their perfect little lives. “If I could be one thing, I’ll be too nice.” “We may hug someone to death.” Is this real fucking life! Read those lines again
“If I could be one thing, I’ll be too nice.”
“We may just hug someone to death”
Listen I know I’m an asshole. I know Mets fans are annoying and Yankees fans are obnoxious and Boston fans are arrogant and Philly fans can be flat out violent, but I’ll take any and all those fan bases over the assholes saying they wanna hug people to death. Sounds like Michael fuckin Scott. I mean I hope at this point its a troll job from this fan base. I hope the signs welcoming Boston fans at the airport are intentionally over the top. I hope saying they’re too nice and will hug people to death is on purpose because they want to piss everyone else off with the podunk, gee-shucks, we’re just friendly St. Louis fans. If thats the case, then play on, playa. I respect that hustle just taking it over the top and rubbing your smugness in everyone’s face.
But what’s sick is I think this is real. I think there’s actually a sect of Cards fans that really live in a little black and white Pleasantville bubble. Every fan base has people who are assholes and people who are squares. Most people fall in between where you like to talk a little bit of shit and celebrate when you win and just be competitive and have fun with cheering for your team. But I don’t think any other franchise in all of sports has people saying they’ll hug you to death. Like hey St. Louis don’t worry about hugging me to death because you’re all so fucking annoying I’ll probably just kill myself anyway.