NBC – A Florida Keys man was arrested after deputies say he robbed his girlfriend and then ate some of the money that he stole, according to the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office. Leosvel Cordova Parrado, a Marathon resident, was allegedly intoxicated when deputies say he left a party and became angry at his girlfriend and son and demanded that they go home Wednesday night. Once the family arrived home, Parrado took his girlfriend’s wallet that had $750 in cash, the sheriff’s office said in a release Thursday. Deputies later arrested Parrado and found a lot of cash in his pocket and a valium pill that he didn’t have a prescription for. Officials said that the cash left in Parrado’s pocket was there temporarily as deputies walked him outside to the patrol vehicle. Deputies attempted to find the cash once they were outside but the cash was missing from his pocket. Parrado said he placed the stolen cash on the bed inside his home. During the ride to jail, a deputy noticed a strange sound in his backseat and saw Parrado chewing on a mouth full of cash, authorities said. More cash was found his underwear where deputies believe he hid it. The deputy pulled over and tried to save some of the cash but only $277 was recovered from the $750 that his girlfriend said he stole. Parrado has been charged with robbery, battery, grand theft, resisting arrest, possession of a controlled substance and tampering with evidence.
Feel good story of the year. She should have been more careful with her money, and he did the only rational thing to do when he had it. Can’t very well bring $750 into jail, and you sure as fuck don’t want your girl getting it back. So chew away. And besides, I’m very, very skeptical of the term “girlfriend” here. Is that what we’re calling them nowadays? Girlfriends? Ok cool, I can roll with that. Terms are always changing, but I can get down with calling the
girls tied up downstairs girls who voluntarily hang out with me definitely voluntarily no foul play involved at all I swear please believe me “girlfriends”.