Hedge Fund Billionaire Steve Cohen Paid Guy Fieri $100,000 To Be His Friend For A Day
Page 6 – Embattled hedge-fund billionaire Steven A. Cohen, whose SAC Capital Advisors is charged with insider trading, paid spiky-haired chef Guy Fieri $100,000 “to be his friend for a day,” a new book reveals. Cohen paid Fieri to drive around Connecticut with him to reenact a fantasy episode of “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives,” reveals Allen Salkin in his book, “From Scratch: Inside the Food Network.” But after “Cohen paid Guy Fieri $100,000 to be his friend for a day,” Salkin writes the odd couple became so close that the chef’s top-rated show even featured Cohen’s favorite hot-dog spot, the (perhaps appropriately titled) Super Duper Weenie. The popular joint in Fairfield, Conn., offers hot dogs at $3.75 a pop, guaranteed to get any hedge funder through hard times. Salkin’s book also reveals during a trip for a food show in Cleveland, Ohio, in 2004, Rachael Ray and Marc Summers went to a strip club at Mario Batali’s urging. “When they arrived .?.?. it was closing in 15 minutes, Mario ordered 25 shots and sent over lap dances to Marc and Rachael,” who protested “as the strippers sank down onto their laps and began gyrating,” he writes. Salkin adds that Ray was so hung-over the following day she “forgot to explain details of her recipes.”
You know the phrase “Money Can’t Buy Happiness?” That is complete and utter bullshit. Money can most certainly buy happiness. You can fix almost any problem with money. Almost. The one thing money can’t fix is being a total fucking squidward. Steven Cohen is a fucking billionaire – could purchase more booze and drugs and women and yachts and mansions and whatever else you need to have the greatest time of your goddam life all day every day. And whats he doing with this money?
Paying Guy Fieri to be friends with him for a day.
Gimme a break dude. That is quite possibly the most pathetic thing I have ever heard in my whole life. Paying anyone to be your friend is stooping to the depths of human desperation – paying Guy fucking Fieri to do it is absolutely rock bottom of social interaction. I can genuinely say that if I had to trade places with Steven Cohen – meaning I got all his money but I also had the mindset that paying Guy Fieri to be my friend for 24 hours is awesome – I don’t know what I’d do. What good is all that money if you’re a complete fucking herb? I mean yes, there are probably definitely times he’s paying strippers for Ass-to-Ass entertainment but if deep down in his heart hes like “I just wish I was hanging out with Guy Fieri right now,” I really don’t know if I’d switch places.
Unless, of course, there’s something about Guy Fieri I don’t know about it. Maybe he’s like the coolest, most bad ass motherfucker in the world? I’m thinking probably not. But good for him cashing in 100 large to hang out with some finance dork for the day.
PS – I would love to go to a strip club with Marc Summers. Like fucking LOVE it.