Barstool New York Comments Of The Week Presented By Your Lord And Commander KFC
Greetings, minions! Its me. KFC. The puppet master who makes you lemmings dance on a daily basis. The Lord and Commander of Barstool New York where I churn out hot fire and you unfunny losers think its a good idea to whine in the comments section rather than actually try to say something witty or clever. I’d love to get inside the mind of a person who takes the time to register and comment on a blog, but decides to go with the “this was already blogged” comment. Great use of your time. Thats worth commenting. For sure not.
So the Stoolie who was supposed to do COTW today bailed on me this morning. So that means I basically just went through yesterdays blogs and picked the “best” comments. Seriously I don’t know what it is, but the vast majority of commenters are just getting worse and worse by the second. I long for the good old days when you commenter nerds actually brought the heat. So, I salvaged a couple comments the best I could, and then I decided to add a new feature to the comments of the week. Best Zollo Comments from over on Barstool U. Nobody and I mean nobody gets shit on worse than Tommy Lights. Its like Neil times a billion. But first thing’s first, Worst Comment Of The Week:
Blog: Digital Composite Of The Average Man – scmass – Fuck that shit. As you get older you gotta stay youthful looking and energetic or the higher ups will whack your cube dwelling ass. If you’re 52 and look 62, guess who’s in the HR layoff crosshairs? Gotta eat clean and hit the gym 5-6x a week.
Hands down this guy is my least favorite person of all time. I am literally praying he gets laid off.
Blog: Women Goes Absolutely MENTAL On A Plane – goldeneagle10 – Wish Mo would weigh in here. This is tame stuff at his Sunday mass
Black folks love to scream in church. Love to. Its right up there with running away from magic and pretending to fall over/hold people back during athletic slam dunks.
Blog: Elementary School Cancels Halloween – Cantgetthestinkout – I still go to Halloween parties to look at women dressed up as sluts. The only difference is that now I go home with my girlfriend and masturbate in the shower while I wash the makeup off my face.
There’s nothing quite as depressing as when you realize you’re too old to enjoy Halloween the way its truly meant to be enjoyed.
Top Comments from the RIP Skinemax Blog (This was the only blog where you guys brought the heat)
Wakeupcall – Pres used to beat off to artifacts. Pres probably beat his beak to fucking paintings on the side of cave walls.
dwyanewadehasherpes - I remember during a late night thunderstorm where lightning struck and the softcore porn was clear for 2 minutes. I never jacked it so fast in my life. This is probably an exaggerated lie, but there were times when it would get super clear for just a split second and it was a miracle from the heavens above.
(these were the top 2 comments for a reason)
chestacopperpot – This blog officially made me feel old. But its with a hint of nostalgia that I bid adieu to many a nights from middle school trying to make out a full set of titties amongst a snowy screen of chaos.
accttu - I used to set up booby traps in the hallway so I could jack it late night in the living room where we had skinemax. I would leave my brothers toys, dog squeak toys, etc… Anytime the alarm would sound I would put my dick back in my pants and switch to ESPN and pretend like I was asleep.
Alright fuck all this shit, time to get to the Zollo comments:
kike boy – OH MY GOD ZOLLO!!!!!!!!!!! I’M WALKING AROUND LIKE A SAUNTERING FUCKING FAGGOT NOW THAT I’VE LISTENED TO YOUR MUSIC!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! (Any time you can work sauntering into a comment you’ve done something right)
Albert Poopholes – Zollo do you seriously think anyone is interested in your cockriding soundtrack?
69stool – Zollo If you got cancer I’d applaud cancers choice.
Top 3 Zollo Comments
BooRadley – I’m gonna name my first son Zollo and beat him every day
UnclePhil – You were conceived in your mother’s asshole you worthless piece of shit.
jergensjveeno - Zollo, what’s it like to guzzle cum through a garden hose?