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Does This Look Like The Face Of A 70 Year Old Man Who Murdered His 56 Year Old Roommate With A Sledgehammer?

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HAMPTONThe man charged with second-degree murder on Monday for allegedly killing his roommate with a sledgehammer is a sex offender and failed to notify authorities he was living in town, police said. Peter Bartoloni, 70, was arrested and charged with failing to report his sex-offender status to police Saturday in Hampton before he was charged Monday with second-degree murder by State Police. The announcement by the attorney general’s office comes four days after his roommate, 56, was found bloodied and dead on his living room couch, killed by “multiple blunt impact injuries to his head,” according to Attorney General Joseph A. Foster.

One of the all time great “roommate” tales of vicious murder. If you’ve been following Barstool New York from the beginning, you know one of the main tenets of the Gospel according to KFC is that if you’re a grown man over the age of like 40 and you’re living with a roommate who’s not a chick, there is inevitably gonna be a run in involving some heavy violence. I’ve been chronicling these stories for years now, and I think I’m prepared to induct Peter “Sledgehammer” Bartoloni into the Roommate Hall of Fame. Top 5 Roommate inspired massacres:

5. Daryl Harris, 56, Stabs His Roommate For Having Stinky Feet

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Police said an argument over stinky feet between roommates led to an assault Monday evening.  According to Richmond County sheriff’s Lt. Blaise Dresser, Darryl Harris, 56, accused his roommate Crawford Jackson, 61, of having stinky feet around 11:30 p.m. at their home on Cedar Street. Police said Jackson grabbed a small knife and jabbed it three times into Harris’ stomach and cut his finger. 

Classic roommate situation. Personal hygiene. You’re stinkin up the joint! Most roommates would politely ask them to take their stinky feet off the table. Joke about it so they clean up their toes. Two 50+ year old men living together? Thats a’stabbin.

4. Josue Rodriguez, 40, Attacks His Roommate With A Machete For Changing The Radio Station

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Police say Josue Rodriguez, 40, attacked his roommate with a machete because the roommate changed the radio station, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported. Rodriguez was allegedly taking a shower in his Lake Worth home when he heard the radio station change. When he confronted his roommate, the man gave him a push. In response, cops say, Rodriguez grabbed a nearby machete and began whacking at his roommate

Never touch another man’s radio. Especially if you’re living with a 40 year old man who owns a fucking machete. Complete lack of common sense in this one.

3. Thomas Mathew Hahn, 55, Shoots His Roommate 3 Times And Kills Him For Cooking The Porkchops wrong 

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A man known for renting out rooms to people trying to recover from drug and alcohol addiction killed one of his tenants after the two men argued about how to prepare pork chops. The men were fighting about pork chops and how they should be cooked, Barker said. Santimyer heard them yelling about the pork chops and he began shutting his bedroom door. But then he heard the statement, “If you pull that gun on me, you better use it,” the report states. Then Santimyer heard three popping sounds, police said.

What are you doing cooking a 56 year old man pork chops? Unless you’re having sex with a person, you shouldn’t cook them dinner. Not only because its just more work on your part, but because if you fuck up the pork chops you’re getting a full clip unloaded into you.

2. Sergey Mamontov, 50, Chops Up His Roommate And Puts Him In The Freezer Because He Wouldn’t “Shut Up”

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A BROOKLYN carpenter confessed to killing his roommate, chopping up his body and storing parts of him in his refrigerator — all because the victim was too loud, police sources said. Sergey Mamontov, 50, told cops he killed his roommate, Aleksandr Zilbergleyt, 55, after a fight erupted in their Sheepshead Bay home on March 25, the sources said. “He was very matter of fact,” the source said. “He didn’t want to say anything at first, but once he started talking, he wouldn’t shut up. He said he decided there was no other way to take care of (the victim).” 

If you’re 50 years old and you live with your wife, you just deal with the fact she won’t shut up. Thats what chick roommates do. They yap all the time. If you’re 50 and your 55 year old roommate doesn’t stop talking? Ice Truck Killer that dude. Severed body parts in the freezer.

1. Peter Bartoloni, 70, Kills His 56 Year Old Roommate With A Sledgehammer

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Old Petey boy takes the cake. Failure to register as a sex offender. Sledgehammer murderer. Article doesn’t even really specify why it happened. Dude just crushed his roommate with a sledge hammer. Because thats what happens when you’re 56 and living with a 70 year old dude. There doesn’t even need to be a reason. You can take a sledgehammer to the face at any moment when you put yourself in that position. Its just not natural folks. After the age of 40, you live with someone you are having sex with. If not, guaranteed violence.