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Good News For Sex Offenders In New York - You No Longer Need To Show Your Dick To Your Parole Officer

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NEW YORK (AP) A New York appeals court has rejected as “extraordinarily invasive” and unjustified a requirement that a sex offender undergo penile stimulation testing after his release from prison. The 2nd U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals issued the ruling Thursday. The case involved an Alabama man who was sentenced by a Vermont judge to 15 months in prison for failing to properly register as a sex offender. David McLaurin had been convicted of producing child pornography more than a decade ago. A Vermont federal judge had said it was “standard” to include a test in which a man’s erectile responses are measured as he is shown sexually stimulating images. The appeals court says it seems “odd” to try to deter someone from committing sex crimes by showing him depictions of sex.

I don’t know about you but I think its kind of a good idea to give these perverts a Boner Test. Show these weirdos pictures of little kids or helpless girls or something and if its Woodrow Wilson in their pants then you fuckin lock em down or something. Put them under house arrest or something. Or at the very least their probation continues. Have periodic Penis Tests and its like “Welp, it moved. Another year of probation for you, you sick bastard! We’ll try again next year and if you keep your dick under control maybe we’ll let you out in public again.”

I dunno. Seems like a solid tactic to me but what do I know. I’m not in police enforcement or a lawyer, and I don’t know anything about the dicks of sexual deviants.

Except for my own of course. I know a lot about my own sexual deviant dick.